God is working His magic. I’ve been asking for more financial abundance and He keeps opening doors to increase my wealth. He’s also been testing my own issues of worth. I’ve realized that I often self-sabotage opportunities that I ask God for. He provided, I turn my back. I doubt myself, make excuses and don’t take a leap of faith in myself.
Case in point: I received an email with an audition – a way to show my talents AND make extra money – and almost didn’t submit my audition. I had little time to create and email an audition mp3 and so I began talking myself out of it: “I’m tired,” It’s too late,” “I don’t have time.”
Right when I was about to abandon the project and quit before beginning, my intuition kicked in. A little voice (God) said, “You’ve been asking for these opportunities all of your life, and you’re talking yourself out of it because you don’t think you deserve it.”
How many times have I done that? How many times have I quit before I began, quit because it tested me and my worth? How many times did I avoid an open door because of my poor sense of value? My eyes are open. I am feeling and seeing so much. I am connecting the dots and, dayum… I’ve been doing this most of my life.
Knowledge is half the battle and I am aware. God is revealing the reasons why I’ve impeded myself from attaining goals and living the life I am meant to live. And using the talents he has bestowed upon me. It’s so amazing to be in this space.
As for that audition, I did email the mp3. No matter what happens now I am proud of myself for following through and not allowing negative self-talk to sabotage this opportunity. I am aware. I am awake. I am pushing through the fear.
For more on what I’ve gone through regarding self-sabotage, press play. I dish on this and more on episode 66 of my reVolver podcast, Love Sujeiry: Talk Served Raw.