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Podcast: When A Guy You Dated Just Used You for Sex

Podcast: When A Guy You Dated Just Used You for Sex

A listener shares how a man she dated went MIA after sex. WTF, man?!

It’s time for Ask Sujeiry! The podcast where I answer listeners dating and relationship questions and give my no-nonsense advice. Today I being used and played for sex! Here is the relationship dilemma I received:

Dear Sujeiry,

I dated this guy for a few months and I felt he and I had a connection and had a lot of things in common. We even flew to the Dominican Republic together for a friend’s wedding. Everything was great and I guess it is always the beginning. And then, he eventually got a job offer (he was unemployed when we met) and it was great. He was busy learning and training. He’s an accountant, which I understand can be a very demanding job.

As time went on, the less I was hearing from him. No texts, no calls, NOTHING. It was always me initiating conversations and receiving short responses. Four months into the dating phase, he tells me he doesn’t desire to rush into things because he doesn’t feel ready (red flag, I think) and doesn’t feel a ‘connection.’ In my head I am thinking, of course, there is no connection, we barely talk and there’s no communication. I let him know what and how I feel about it. Told him we need to communicate, talk, have open conversations. He says it’s more than just texts and calls. I get it, but how do we get to cross that bridge? I felt he was no longer interested in the person that I am and was only concerned with having sex. Long story short, things ended.

He did say a few things that did hurt my feelings: He stated I need to grow up, that he felt he was dating a little girl in a 30 year old body. That a relationship takes more than just texts and calls.

MORE: You Can Stop the Texting When Dating, If You Want

He failed to understand where I was coming from. It was always me initiating conversations to receive short responses back like, “I am a bit too busy now.” I don’t think I was asking for much. Simply a phone call here and there and to see that he was actually interested in me, like sending me a text saying good morning.

He would go MIA for weeks. I am in no way exaggerating. On two different occasions, we stopped talking for 3-4 weeks. And he would appear back in my life like nothing happened and expect things to be the same. And I wasn’t ok with that. How do you go MIA and expect me to go out of my way (he lives an hour away from me) to have sex? I felt used the last two times we hung out.

What do you think? I honestly feel I was not asking for much. What’s your dating advice?

To find out my two cents, press play! More questions answered on this podcast include: how soon is too soon to move on from the father of my child? How do I know if I gave my relationship my all? I tell it like it is and dish on much more on this episode. Press play, listen and subscribe! Have a dating or relationship question? Email me here!

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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