I have an interesting relationship with money. I love money. I love having it and making it. Receiving a check in the mail for writing projects and TV gigs – whether big or small – makes me giddy. I also treat it like I do loved ones. I hold onto it. Tight. Much like I hold onto relationships with said loves ones, I become possessive. Some may call me frugal. In extreme cases, I can be miserly. That’s because I am afraid to lose money. To not have enough.
It all goes back to my abandonment issues.
Our relationship with money is a direct reflection of our relationship with self. How we value ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, what we think we deserve, what we think we are worth: it all affects our relationship with money. Often times I have undervalued myself. I have asked for less than I am worth or accepted an offer without negotiating. I stopped that bad habit in 2014. Once I understood that money is an extension of self and my self-worth I wanted to ask for more and want more. I deserve it.
Yet money has always felt elusive to me. I didn’t grow up with much of it. No one sat down with me to talk about investing, saving, budgeting, and creating opportunities to make more money. Mami lectured me about saving for the future – a house, retirement, funeral arrangements – but she never showed me how. No one did. So I’ve had to learn on my own. It’s 2015 and I want to be better and grow in all aspects of my life, including regarding my finacial affairs. Besides, in order to serve others as a life and love coach I have to serve myself.
If you have a complex relationship with money, how do you begin to make it a fruitful and healthy one? By understanding your relationship with money and how it has come to be. Ask yourself:
1. Does my relationship with money remind me of anything in my life?
2. Is there a connection with how I handle money and how I handle loved ones?
3. What do I feel when I think of money? Why?
4. What is the root of my money issues?
5. Do I feel that I lack value, that I am worthless?
Whatever your feelings they will always affect your relationship with money. So if you truly want to be financially free and have a rich and abundant life, you must look within.