Tampons. They remain a mystery to me. As much as I have tried to get used to their presence when Sujeiry wiggles one in, I reject it instantly.
My first experiece with a tampon was at 27 years old. Always a maxi pad user, I feared having anything in such close proximity, other than a pene. But Sujeiry was on vacation in Miami. Aunt Flow came for a visit and the monthly toxins came whooshing out.
“But I want to go to the beach!” Sujeiry screamed at me.
I shrugged. “I can’t help you,” I replied.
But my friend Celeste could.
Celeste handed Sujeiry a wrapped object. From my view, it looked harmless. However, while Sujeiry unwrapped, tearing the paper that held the tampon, she seemed nervous.
“Is it going to be uncomfortable?” She asked Celeste.
“You won’t even feel it,” Celeste responded.
Suddenly, I was face to face with the tip of a white cotton stick. I clenched as Sujeiry shoved it in.
“Ow! Eek! Aaaah!” I hollered in pain.
“I’m suffocating!” I yelled, still clenching, attempting to push it out.
Sujeiry stopped and tried to walk.
“Ow! Ow! My cervix!” I shouted. I felt was slowly dying.
“I feel it,” she said to Celeste. Sujeiry frowned. “It kind of hurts.”
“Yes! It hurts! Get. It. Out!!!” I whined.
That was all Sujeiry needed. Seconds later, she squatted over the toilet, reached in and freed me of the tampon. I exhaled and danced in delight. And I knew that from that day forward, the tampon would be my new enemy. The tampon wasn’t as sneaky as The Queef but he still unwelcome. And every time Sujeiry has tried to slip in a tampon, I don’t allow it.
Ultra thin, light days, overnight – you can keep em.