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The Tale of Sujeiry’s Pepa and The Wax Job From Hell

Sujeiry

The Tale of Sujeiry’s Pepa and The Wax Job From Hell

If Sujeiry’s vagina could talk, she’d say oooow!

40 year old virgin wax scene
There I was – exposed and super hairy. I stared at the bright white ceiling above and braced myself for the Lady in Blue. She walked in quickly and abruptly. “Cover me!” I yelled. Sujeiry ignored me and instead made small talk. Said something about painless wax and how she and I have a low threshold for pain. Lady in Blue nodded.

“It won’t hurt,” she spat out.

“It always hurts,” Sujeiry responded. I clenched in terror.

Without warning, Lady in Blue, who could very well be the Grim Reaper for Pepas, slathered me with seagreen hot wax.

“Help me!” My pelitos yelled.

I looked over at them, defeated. I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop the abuse. Lady in Blue ripped pieces off without blinking or any concern for Sujeiry’s screams.

“Fuck! Fuck you! I hate you!” Sujeiry hollered.

“Oh, the pain! The pain of this bikini wax!” I added in agony.

Five minutes felt like 30, and it was over. After a quick pat and coating me with white talcum powder, Lady in Blue stormed out. There I was – exposed, hairless, as white as a ghost’s pepa and swollen. I stared at the bright white ceiling and whispered, “How I wish I were a pene…”

Now, here I am – twenty four hours after the wax job and still sore. This can happen to you! So, to save another pepa from this torture, here are some things to note before undergoing a Brazilian and all other pepa waxing procedures.

  • Do they double dip? Double dipping can cause herpes!
  • Is your wax lady using gloves?
  • If the front desk/spa manager offers you a shot of vodka before the wax job, you know you’re going to be in pain.
  • Make sure to ask for soothing lotion after your wax since, apparently, some places rather not soothe your flaming pepa.
  • Check out reviews on Yelp before you expose your pepa to a Lady in Blue.

Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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