The Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.” First thing to do is use the prompts that the Reverb 10 website dictates. There are prompts for each day of December 2010. This is my post for December 3, 2010!
Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
Fear in my sisters eyes. Knees up. Knuckles white from pulling on a bed sheet. Hips raised. Pulling on a bed sheet. Pain. Restlessness. Frustration. Love…
The nurse’s encouraging yet firm words, “Push that baby to the sky! That’s right. Up! Up! Up! Up! Good job!”
My mother paces. Moves from my sisters side to the chair beside me to the door. Her voice shaky because her first daughter is in pain and she cannot do anything to help. Her eyes well up with tears because her first daughter is going to have a daughter.
Travis, my sisters boyfriend and the father to be, coaches Adayna like he’s on a football field. She glares at him for a second. He’s only trying to help, someone says. Adayna softens her stare. Focuses on pushing again, exasperated.
The doctors in. White coat. Dark, straight black her. Tall and graceful. She smiles, pats Adayna on her knee and, in a tender voice says, “Ok, Adayna. You’re ready. You’re going to do great.”
I am there. Holding my sisters hand with one hand and fanning her with a piece of cardboard with the other. Adayna is hot. Sweat beads on her forehead. The french braid I created in her hair before the pushing, when she was floating on epi, is unraveling.
“Almost there, Adayna! Push, push, push! Up to the sky! Push that baby up to the sky!”
And then I see her. Her full head of black waves, her shoulders, her tiny body. My itty bitty, my Nila Bonita is born into the world.
The doctor hands Travis scissors to cut the umbilical chord. He puts his fingers inside the scissor and opens them up, coming toward the chord. Snap. Red blood gushes. The chord releases Nila. She cries a beautiful, healthy cry.
We all cry, beautiful, joyful tears.
Snap. A photo is taken of mother and daughter. Flashes of light from camera flashes and glares of cell phone.
Joy. Pure joy.
It is all I remember.