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Love Trips: Are You Ready? Yes I’m Ready?!

Hammer and Nails

Sujeiry

Love Trips: Are You Ready? Yes I’m Ready?!

Some say it takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them. Others say to just get under someone new. Did either work for Sujeiry or was she not ready to date again? The newest Love Trips.

Hammer and NailsTo get over someone you must be ready to move on.

There’s a Spanish saying that goes,”Un clavo saca a otro clavo.” It is said to women who are mourning a relationship after a breakup. What it translates to is simple: to get over someone you just have to get under someone new.

That’s exactly what I tried to do after Paco and I broke up.

Sacando un clavo con otro clavo was new for me. I am the kind of lady who wallows for months after a heartbreak. Like Charlotte once said in Sex and the City, “It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them.” For me, it’s more like double the time. But that was Sujeiry in her 20s. At newly 35, I was ready to yank that man right outta my heart by any means neccesary. Even if it meant doing something I vowed never do again: online dating.

[ALSO READ: Lonely in LA like MJ and Now in NY? Damn You, Single Status!]

24 hours after Paco and I were over and I contacted Mr. G, I signed up for a six-month subscription to Match.com. I was that sure that I’d meet someone this time. I was in a new city with new men and new possibilities. I was ready! A day or two after signing up, a very attractive Indian man emailed me. He was looking for a serious relationship. He wanted to talk on the phone first and get to know each other. Straightforward. I like that. I told him I was interested in speaking and we set up a date and time to talk.

But when he called I didn’t pick up.

As the foreign number appeared on my iPhone screen, I panicked. I couldn’t talk to someone new, I freaked. I am not ready! He left a message and I listened, feeling terrible about my choice. His voice was rich, deep. It was very sexy. He sounded like a man. An hour later, I stopped being a pendeja and text him with an excuse.

“I was on the phone with my sister,” I fibbed. “It’s too late now, almost 10pm, so maybe we can talk tomorrow?” Yes, tomorrow I’d be ready.

“I have a work conference all week in San Diego,” he replied. “I can talk now if you are available.”

Persistent. I like that. Now or never, Sujeiry.

[ALSO READ: Ask Sujeiry: Should I Contact My Man’s Mistress?]

We spoke for 45 minutes. He was smart. 39 years old. Mature. He spoke fluent Spanish because he had lived in Mexico for a year. He also has a daughter who lives with his ex-wife in San Diego while he lives in Los Angeles and works in marketing for Nestle. I was intrigued and so was he. We set a date for the following week.

Our date approached. I suggested we meet at La La’s Argentenian Grill in Studio City; it was in my neighborhood and I like Argentenian steak. He was running late due to traffic on the 101. Typical LA. He apologized over text and suggested I order a drink on him. I did so happily. When he walked in, he was beautiful. Better looking than his photos. 6’2 or so. Brown skin and a full head of hair. I was impressed and excited. The date continued on that note.

We chatted each other up for hours. It was easy. We flirted. I knew he was digging me. He told me I looked even prettier than my photos. Complimentary. I like that. Midway through our date he brought up his marriage and asked about my last relationship. As I am a “love guru” and relationship writer, he was curious about my relationship history. I, on the other hand, was desperately trying to avoid “the ex” talk. He proceeded to ask questions, including when my last relationship had ended.

“We broke up a month and a half ago,” I lied. It was more like two weeks ago.

He looked at me with shock and confusion. “Wow, that wasn’t that long ago.”

I nodded, assuring him I was over Paco.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

Another lie. As much as I wanted to believe that I was ready, I’m not like many other gals. I wasn’t ready to get under another man. For this newly single, 35-year-old woman, the only thing que saca otro clavo is time.

How do you get over a breakup? Do you move on quickly with someone new?

Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Aai.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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