I used to harshly judge a fellow creative whenever she’d change her business model. It felt like Sasha (I think she’d like that sassy name) constantly offered a new service, reinstated an old service, or revamped her website every three months. Well, I’m biting back my words and swallowing my short tongue. (It truly is tiny for someone who talks so much.) Cause I’ve been ignoring my women’s intuition and doing the same damn thing as Sasha.
That’s the thing about judgment; it’s usually a reflection of self. The things I disliked about her business model and execution were the same things I questioned in myself.
Like Sasha, I have waffled, wavered and vacillated (and every other word that means “wishy washy”) over what to do with my platform and brand; what to do to grow as an entrepreneur; and what to do to make money while being creative. I don’t know why she constantly changed direction; for me, it came down to pressure, self-doubt and fear of financial ruin.
These fears made it easier to ignore my intuition and take in the opinions of others as truth. When they told me what to do with my brand and website, I should have said, “Thanks for your advice, but I know what I want to do with my digital platform – and that’s not it.”
The “it” has often been coaching. And yea, I did it. Days ago, there was a tab for it right on the navigation of this here website. But that’s never been my dream. At my core, I am a storyteller. That’s who I am when I am being my authentic self.
Since the age of 26, my vision has been to run a successful, multimedia, digital community where Latinas and other women of color share their journey in love, dating and relationships.
I’ve changed my mind many times because I listened to naysayers. I allowed them to thwart said manifestation when I accepted their truth as my own, after they’d share statistics on the number of websites that have shut down, and when they pointedly say, “You can’t make money offline when giving away content.” Their reality and reasoning became my own because I was terrified to fail. I was afraid to jump into this project heart first (as I often do) without a team, funders, seed money, or a legit plan. So I switched gears to coaching and abandoned my dream once again.
Well, break out your salsa shoes ’cause here I am again with a new revamped site for the third time since the launch in October. (That’s nine months for those who don’t want to do the math.) Here I am again pursuing my passions, only this time with joy and without pressure. I ask that you stick by me (even if I do seem crazy) as I do what I love and share my stories and those of other Latinas with you. I ask that you engage by sharing, commenting and liking so we go viral, baby.
And I ask that you don’t judge me too harshly.