On a Thursday evening, I was meeting a friend for dinner and a movie. The plans were set three days in advance and I was excited to see her. It had been a while since we’d hung out together, just her and I. Usually, her boyfriend is present.
Fast forward to 7:30pm on that very Thursday. She shows up with her boyfriend. I try to bail on our plans but they both insist I tag along. You know, since they were my plans. I was stuck as the third wheel…again.
Naturally, I was upset. I hate being in these situations. However, I still needed to handle it with grace. There were two ways I could approach the evening: pout and complain (no one likes that girl) or try to make the best of it. The problem with trying to make the best of it is pretending that being the “single girl” doesn’t bother you.
I decided to suck it up. She is a good friend and I wanted to spend time with her, even if I had to share our time. I also made sure I wasn’t ignored. I asked questions and steered the conversation so I was part of the dialogue. When they were affectionate, I joked about it and said something like, “just pretend I’m not here.” Or I would excuse myself. They eventually noticed how uncomfortable I was and stopped being mushy.
So, yes, being a third wheeler can be upsetting. Yet I am guilty of third wheeling another person. Most of us are when in relationships. If you don’t want to be the third wheel, I suggest talking to your friend about it while making plans. Say something like, “We haven’t had a girls night in a while,” or simply let her know how you feel. A good friend will understand and want to spend one-on-one time with you, not just her boyfriend.
Erynn Castellanos is an aspiring radio broadcaster with an opinion on all things love. Currently going through the trials of most twenty somethings, she balances life and relationships and knows what she wants. Her articles on LoveSujeiry.com tie in her personal experiences while exploring the early stages of dating and the single life.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Deshaunicus