I used to hate being alone, and now I find myself detaching myself from the company I once kept. Is it age and maturity? Is it fortitude and confidence? Or is it the sense of awareness and inner peace that is blossoming within?
What I do know is that I am not lonely. What I do know is that I sense myself detaching from people who may no longer serve a purpose. Relationships that feel forced. Unnatural conversations that lack a comfortable flow. Empty connections that were formed out of temporary need. They no longer interest me. That goes for every relationship: friendships, familial, romantic. I no longer feel the need to try to make them work, pushing and prying to have others fit into my mold of perfect friend, perfect cousin, perfect man…just perfect.
There is no such thing.
What is most astonishing is that I am not angry; on the contrary, I’ve embraced this change without a fight, and that’s so unlike me. I am now more sure of myself and those in my corner: a handful of great friends, my mother, my sister, my brother, and one day my husband and children. It is all that I need and want. And that’s why I sit here content..sipping a drink…at a bar…alone.