As a strong advocate of the femme nation, I am often on social media denouncing slut-shaming ideologies and misogynist men. I was recently scrolling through my timeline when I came across a disgusting video. In the clip, I watched a group of black men surrounding a nude black woman shaming her for her unshaven vagina. While one man was recording, there was another man throwing harsh comments at the woman and another man standing over her laughing. The man who spoke foully then sprayed some identifiable mist on the woman’s vag.
This was extremely hurtful to watch. Not only because women of color are often humiliated and ridiculed by men of color, but also because no one should be humiliated for the entire Internet to see. It’s dangerous for men of color to shame a woman of color’s body and sexuality. It often makes us uncomfortable with our bodies and speaking out about sex, and harms our relationship with self.
And body-shaming a woman due to her pubic hair occurs all over the web. These tweets from men and women say it all.
a hairy pussy is a no no
— SHESACUNT (@nobazics) April 27, 2016
Men love pussy but it can’t have hairs meanwhile y’all don’t even shave your hairy nuts. Give em a damn break man ?
— shitkhunt Ⓥ (@ERlKBOWIE) April 24, 2016
Sorry fat bitch but we don’t have Krispy Kreme or all day McDonald’s breakfast here https://t.co/A2cqrC01JD
— Mar-A-Lago MacLennan (@MargaretsBelly) April 26, 2016
Bitches arms be chubby as hell that’s when u know they fat
— Del (@ISlevin3) July 6, 2015
Everyday I get on here I see either some random fat black bitch or a skinny ugly white feminist hoe blocked me lmao
— Respek my name (@blacc_moses) April 18, 2016
Why all the hate? Just like we’re all born with teeth in order to grind our food we are all born with pubic hair for health purposes, like deterring sweat, irritation and sometimes even diseases. It’s a natural part of life. Some people are fortunate to have less than others (or none at all), but if you’re not then welcome to the I-Have-Pubic-Hair Club. Yet women become uncomfortable when displaying their natural state for fear of being pictured as less than a woman. This deters them from sexually interacting with their partner or significant other.
Body shaming women due to pubic hair also leads to unrealistic expectations of self. They believe they should always be clean-shaved, well-oiled and “all natural” in order to be viewed as a woman. In reality, this is impractical. It also lends to low self-esteem, self-hate and shame.
And yes, some women prefer to have a bald kitty. That’s fine. But not every woman has the desire or the funds to do so. No matter what the decision, women deserve respect and to be loved.
If you are a body-shaming, woman-bashing man, please reconsider your views and expectations of women. We come in all shapes, sizes, backgrounds and hair lengths, and I understand everyone has their preferences. That’s perfectly okay. But when you force your expectations onto women in a harmful way, it is toxic for women, their relationship with self and love.