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Where Have All My Old Friends Gone? Up My Pregnant Ass

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Where Have All My Old Friends Gone? Up My Pregnant Ass

Moms that were once friends want to reconnect because I’m a mom to be. Uh, now?

At 38 I find myself in quiet a conundrum. I’m pregnant, engaged and happy; therefore receiving a slew of messages from old friends and acquaintances. I know, I know, #FirstWorldProblems. But, where were those friends when I was in my late 20s/early 30s, single, needy and (in other words) a hot ass mess? They were with their happy, bouncy babies and significant others.

PLUS: I Was a Hot Mess Yet He Still Chose Me

Now, they’re all back. Friends that are mommas are attempting to reconnect and “catch up” with me because, well, I’m a momma-to-be. They want to see “how I’m feeling” and “how I’m doing.” Because I’m knocked up, yo.

I appreciate your concern, old friends, but this sudden interest in my life is bugging me at my core. You’re up my pregnant ass and its nice and all, but you haven’t been here in a while.

That’s the truth, and as an authentic person I struggle with said truth because I can’t fake the funk. It’s difficult for me to embrace friends who pretty much stopped calling, texting, showing up and making time for our friendship when they fell in love and birthed babies. While they were raising kids I was raising a glass to the freaking weekend.

Cheers! By the way, I miss alcohol.

“You’re being a pain in the ass,” you say. Probably. “You should be grateful that old friends are showing you newfound love.” Perhaps. But I just can’t turn that feeling off and on. I am loyal to a fault. I am a ride or die BFF. You can birth 10 babies, have a show on TLC about your baby army, and post photos a gazillion times a day of said baby army on Instagram, and I’ll still call to check in and make plans. You’ll cancel the plans or say you’re too busy, and I’ll roll my eyes at your obsession with your kids, but I will make the effort to connect with you, Mama Bear – repeatedly. That is until it’s no longer reciprocated.

Maybe I will eat my words. When baby boy comes this summer I might be so exhausted I might become the friend that disapears and only hangs out with mom friends. Play dates might just become my new Happy Hour. Drinking Moscow Mules at a bar might be substituted with drinking wine at a “book club” while kids run around. It can happen. It just might. I’m not naive. I know my life as I know it is over.

MORE: 7 Things You REALLY Need When Pregnant

I also know how I’m built. So, to all my former friends who are suddenly concerned about my wellbeing and curious about my life of mom-to-be and wife-to-be, I’m going to call you out on your bullshit. Probably with a glass of wine in hand. Nah, make it a Moscow Mule.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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