I always envisioned myself birthing and raising girls. Whether I had 2, 4 or 6 kids (Dominican “Brady Bunch” status!) they would all have vaginas, become moody teenagers, and eventually tell momma about their love woes and seek my relationship advice. Well, I’m having a boy. A penis is growing inside of me as I type and, honestly, I was disappointed. The only reason why I didn’t cry out in pain, shaking a closed fist up to Heaven, was…preparation.
No, not Preparation H! The hemorrhoids come later (ouch). Weeks before my Panorama screening, which tests for Down Syndrome and also identifies the baby’s gender, I perused the world wide web for baby boy clothes and baby-boy mom blogs.
I’m going to convince myself that I’m having a boy, I reasoned, so if it’s a girl, I’ll be thrilled. If it’s a boy, I won’t sob in a fetal position like a Telenovela star.
And it worked. When Boo unsealed the envelope with the gender results, and I pulled out the paper and read “IT’S A BOY!” in blue lettering, I didn’t freak out. Boo was thrilled. His eyes glossed over as he imagined playing catch with Boo, Jr. You know, like I once imagined getting manicures with Sujeirita.
We hugged. I told him that what matters is that our baby is healthy. And it does, it matters. But still, in that moment my heart sank a little. My mind swirled with visions of a penis urinating on my face as I change his diaper, and a kid in mud. I asked Boo, “What am I going to do with a boy?!” He shrugged and skipped along. So happy, that one.
So, how did I get over my disappointment over having a boy? I did what most mommas-to-be do now – googled “disappointed over having a boy.” And holy shit, I hit the jackpot! I found forums and blog posts (oh my) where women shared their feelings of devastation because they were going to have to clean a penis and not a vagina. Some woman felt so disappointed that they cried for weeks and months. Damn son! #PunIntended
I felt for them, I did. But I also felt better because I didn’t feel that bad, especially after browsing through baby boy pics on Pinterest. Who can resist a cute baby pic even if it’s a boy? Then, I stumbled upon some mom blogs that shared what to look forward to with a boy – and panic ensued.
- Get ready to get dirty! Boys like to play in mud and are messy. (Me while reading: BUT I’M A GERMAPHOBE!)
- Prepare for an adventure! Boys are super active and have tons of energy. (Me while reading: BUT I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO RIDE A BIKE!)
- They won’t listen all too well but they’re so fun. (Me while reading: BUT I TALK SO MUCH AND BOO ALREADY IGNORES ME!)
Then, I read this other fun fact:
Boys love their mommas and are super cuddly. Their love is like no other.
And my heart melted.
So there you have it – I’m having a messy, active, lovable boy. Or not. I mean, he’s a boy (I’m not senile) but maybe he’ll be creative, tidy and gentle, while being adventurous and independent. Until he’s out of my oven, all I can do is continue to pray for good health and that he loves his momma like no one else. I’ll have no trouble with that at all.