Whenever I tell a man that I am a relationship writer and the former Love Guru on Exitos 93.9FM, they respond with this statement: so you can give me relationship advice, right?
Boy do I have a story to tell you!
They proceed to divulge their darkest relationship secrets. How he cheated on his girlfriend with her best friend. How he secretly wants to break up with his girl and needs help on how to do it so she doesn’t hate him. How he wants to get her back even though he treated her like shit. How he didn’t know a good thing until it was gone. And on and on they go, as if I they were laying on a couch and I was clocking hours.
Still, I help out. I listen and give my two cents because they need guidance. I just can’t turn someone away and they just can’t let me go. No matter how many times I tell them that I have to catch a train.
This “gift” comes in handy for work but not so much for play. Men that I date are intrigued by my profession. They also want me to fix them. And Julio was no exception. You see, this dude had issues. Not only did he lack confidence (if he mentioned his short stature one more time!) but he also has mommy and daddy issues. I learned all about Julio’s complex childhood and his vulnerabilities on our second date.
He let it all out. On. Our. Second. Date .
I won’t get into all the details of his story. But here’s some juice: he came to this county illegally (he’s a US citizen now), his last relationship was with a woman who had a man (yes, he was the mistress), and he really really loves, respects and admires…his momma. He even bought her a house.
Sweet, yes, until he admitted he lived in said house.
Then he dropped his deepest and darkest secret. One that I will keep for him. I am a professional, after all. Besides, Julio was, is, a sweet guy. Was he for me? I wasn’t sure yet. My gut was telling me no as was my heart. But my mind, my mind was urging me to give it a shot.
He likes me, it said. He’s a good age and is looking for something serious, it continued. Maybe the chemistry will grow, it finished.
So I did what most therapist do: I didn’t listen to my own advice . Though he just hugged me goodbye and I was relieved that he didn’t go in for a kiss, I didn’t get off the ride.