At 8am, I turned to my right side and shut off my alarm con ojos cerrados. I don’t remember doing this but once I woke up 2 and a half hours later I assumed this was the probable scenario. It’s obvious what is happening. My body is subconsciously telling me that it does not want to deal with kids and a kumbaya manager. My body only has energy to create.
What was most astonishing about this mornings fumble was my indifference. I didn’t care what my boss would think or her boss or his boss. Instead of rushing out the door, con pepa™ sucia, I showered, slathered on lotion, applied my makeup, blew dry the curlies in the front of my hair, and drank a hot cup of coffee with whip cream and cinnamon. I didn’t even think of making up a lie. Just going to walk into my office and say, “Sorry. I shut off my alarm.”
What does this mean, Pepitas? That I am ready to move on from a job I have only had for 6 months. It is a pattern of mine. Quit when I’m unhappy, no matter how financially unstable my life may become. I just cannot sacrifice my happiness.
Does this make me irresponsible and unreliable? That’s what it may seem. But I know that when I am passionate about something I am loyal, hard working, ambitious, and above all else, committed. This means that I will continue this pattern of quitting and not committing until I make my creative dreams a reality. I have accepted this. I am no longer fighting this. I am working on my craft 6 days out of the week because of this.
See you on the other side…