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I Am Addicted to Googling Baby Shit

Baby Diaper and Computer
Flickr: ryan_fung


I Am Addicted to Googling Baby Shit

To think I once frantically used my phone to type, “I want to fuck.”

I’ve become addicted to Googling. Once a frequent and irresponsible drunk texter (my bad, ex-boyfriends and flings) I am now working my fingers to the bone at all hours of the day and night, writing out things like: “how do you know when to go up a diaper size,” “newborn poop with images, “and “red butt hole newborns.”

To think I once frantically typed, “I want to fuck.”

PLUS: Baby Boys First Growth Spurt Has Me All, “Waaah!”

But now, I am a mom. Mami. Mother. The definition of adulting. Every minute of my day consists of feeding Evan, pumping breast milk for Evan, preparing said milk plus formula for Evan, rocking Evan to sleep, pounding Evan’s back to alleviate his gas, praying to God all mighty for a burb or fart, hoping Evan’s sleep doesn’t get disrupted by spit up, and when it does, Googling, “ways to alleviate gas in newborns.”

Sometimes I find the time to pause and breathe and think of my life before Mamihood. I wonder how I will possibly manage regularly writing and editing on again, and working on radio and TV (I have new projects pending, waiting for my return from maternity leave) – all while being a stay at home mom. How the fuck does this work? I have help from Boo and still I find it unfathomable to do it all.

I’ll say it again, “Fuuuuuuck!” Cause I am not cursing in front of Evan.

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What I do know is that I adore my little boy.

A photo posted by Sujeiry (@lovesujeiry) on

And Google! I may not have all the answers. I am still figuring out Evan and his needs. But I do know that I am not alone. Google often leads me to the What to Expect and Baby Center forums where mothers are just as confused, exhausted, happy, concerned and in love with their babies as I am. I find gems like these:

“We’ve got the acid poop going on right now and nathan has a red butthole too.” Um, hilarious.

“I stopped using Wipes and I put a thick coat of Butt Paste on the rash after every change. It cleared in about a week.” Ditto on Butt Paste. It’s the ass crack savior!

“I have always had zero interest in breastfeeding and now that I’m facing down the decision to formula feed vs breastfeed, I’m having some guilt and lots of anxiety.” I hear ya, sister.

So, this new addiction is actually helping me. Unlike drunk texting, where the end result was often me in tears, I am finding solace in Google. It may not have all the answers or even be correct most of the time, but this new addiction keeps me somewhat sane while I navigate a sea of dirty diapers, feedings, fluctuating moods and feelings and fire-engine assholes.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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