Two years ago today I made a decision that changed the trajectory of my life. As I drove to work on a cool November morning, I listened to a preaching by T.D. Jakes about embracing the unknown and trusting God and said, “God, please show me the way.” I was hoping from a sign from God.
I arrived at work and I was immediately summonsed by my boss. Once again she pummeled me with work that was completely out of my job title. I walked out of her office and stomped down the long corridor to my office, knowing that I had to leave the position. I had had enough of being taking advantage of and being undervalued.
Irritated, I swung my office door open and plopped myself on my deck chair.
“Buzz!” my phone said. I slid my thumb up the screen and revealed a text from my fiancé.
“We have to talk about how you’re going to contribute more financially.”
Frustrated, my eyes watered. Sick of being told I didn’t do enough, which triggered by feelings of not being enough, I didn’t hold back my feelings for the first time in our 4.5 year relationship.
“I just began working. I need to pay my bills before I can contribute since you never helped me pay anything when I had our son,” I texted angrily. I turned my phone on silent, putting his messages on Do Not Disturb, and shoved my cell phone in my pocket.
Closing my eyes, I knew this was the sign that I asked from God. I knew I had to abandon this relationship. I knew I had to leave a job that underpaid me and that wasn’t aligned with who I was and the talents that God blessed me with since birth.
It was time to be my own woman again, to stop relying on a man and a relationship to define my worth, and to embrace my gifts and my deep-seated desire to be a writer and an entrepreneur again, despite how much my then partner tried stifling my creativity. He hated how unconventional I was, how much I wanted to create for a living, and how – no matter how hard he tried to put me in a box – my passion was too big contain.
It was time. And as I drove back home feeling ready to demolish a relationship that lacked empathy, compassion and love head one, I received another message from God in the form of a whisper: Wait. Get ready.
“Ok,” I replied while driving down Commonwealth Street, “I will wait till I’m stable and can tackle this head one without regrets.”
Two years ago today, I decided. A month later I pulled the plug from my relationship and connected with my true self again. I’ve been lit ever since.
Sujeiry Gonzalez is a freelance relationship writer and author with over 14 years of experience. Coined the ‘Latina Carrie Bradshaw’ and the go-to chica for all things love, she has shared relationship stumbles, dating anecdotes and heartbreak on various platforms, including Latina, Cosmopolitan, and Well + Good. The relationship expert and radio show host has also been featured in People, Stylecaster, USA Today and Cosmo, and hosted her own radio show (Love Sujeiry) on SiriusXM. Author of Love Trips and Founder of Latina x Love, she is currently writing her first romance novel while educating writers on how to self-publish and create brandtastic content online for marketing.