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THE LATINA SEX AND THE CITY
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Golnessa collects knives. Golnessa flies off the handle and literally slashed Adam’s fragility with her sharp nails. So Golnessa must also be to blame for Mike sexting randoms and being a cheating cheater who lies? Hell to the nah! Yet, here we are (and on my first reality TV recap since covering the first Latino Bachelor, Juan Pablo. Remember him?) reverting back to the Blame Golnessa game on Shahs of Sunset. We can all thank Shahs of Sunsets Mike AKA The Deflection King (or was it Reza?!) for that.
Listen, Golnessa is not my favorite, not my cup of tea, and definitely not my jam. To further prove my point, I also dislike tea and loathe jam, hence, the references.
I think GG is an immature, spoiled, hot-head that lives – no, thrives! – off of drama. So do I believe that she sent Mike spook text messages to fuck with him? Maybe. I also think that Mike says just about anything to avoid taking accountability for his numerous indiscretions and infidelities. And I quote Reza, “Get me off the Jessica Express.”
As for Reza, he is the alleged ladle stirring the pot on Episode 4, “The Truth Shall Set You Free,” of Shahs of Sunset. Mike accuses Reza of ratting on GG, who Reza claims sext Mike spoof messages to ruin his relationship with Paulina. But first, Shahs of Sunset Mike actually admits to engaging and sending sexually explicit text messages to a woman that isn’t his girlfriend. Talk about turning the tables so he’s not the douchebag we’re talking about here!
Well, Mike, you’ve failed. Although I have many questions (did GG send those spoof messages? Did Reza betray GG by telling Mike? Did Reza say this at all? Is Mike making this whole shit up?) and Reza cannot be trusted as a friend (cause he shouted that MJ’s uterus exploded due to having multiple abortions) you still keep fucking up. At your age. With that new Dad Bod even though you’re not a Dad.
Like GG stated matter-of-factly, Mike can’t and won’t keep it in his pants. He also doesn’t want to be that lonely, creepy old man that’s hitting on younger women at da club. Oh wait, he’s already that guy. Shahs of Sunset Mike wants to have his kāk (cake in Persian cause I’m about representing the culture!) and eat it too. He wants Paulina to be his companion, to cook and clean for him, and to cater to his whims and treat him like a King. Only he doesn’t treat Paulina like a Queen. Paulina deserves better. But Paulina needs to realize this and believe she deserves better herself. That is on her.
So, Mike, I see you. I also see Paulina’s lack of self-love. The fact that she forgave Mike so quickly, as Nema pointed out, says something about how she sees and feels about herself and her value. As someone who has been cheated on by a man she was madly in love with and forgave him even though he never admitted to being unfaithful, I know why she forgave him so quickly and didn’t wait for him to make true amends for his indiscretion. And it’s not because Paulina is “his person,” as Mike said. It’s because Paulina loves Mike more than she loves herself.
Loving herself is one thing Paulina can learn from the Shahs of Sunset cast. Reza loves himself enough to wear that ridiculous gold and silver sequin polo shirt in his confessionals. MJ loves herself enough to wear the tightest of clothing despite her fullness. (And I so wish I was that bold.) GG loves herself enough to state she only wants ass and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about it. Nema loves himself enough despite his damn chompers, which remind me of Ross’ teeth on Friends when he got them whitened for the first time. Destiney loves herself despite fucking up her face. (Why, girl, why!)
And I love that this show is back for a new season with some real and dysfunctional friendship drama – GG included.