I Used To Self Sabotage My Success

I analyzed my sales numbers. I sold 4 books. FOUR! Begins Self Sabotage Success Sequence. 

By Posted on Location: 4 min read

Get your Freebie.  Accomplish goals.

I launched my goal setting planner and I felt damn good about setting an intention and accomplishing my goal. I felt like dancing a merengue ripiao. I felt like singing a faith-filled gospel. I was on a high; surely I would sell 50 copies during my first week. Only I didn’t. When I analyzed my sales numbers my heart dropped, my hips stopped swinging, and my voice cracked. I sold 4 books. FOUR! Begins Self Sabotage Success Sequence.

Phase 1: Feel unsupported

Eyes glazed over, I think of all my loved ones and exclaim, why have thou forsaken me in my time of need? As in, why did y’all mofos not buy my product? They say your first customers are your family and friends. Granted, the four folks that did purchase my goal setting planner are in fact blood related (one only through mutual birthday. Hi, b-day twin!). But I have at least a 10 people that I consider close friends! Cue violin, trumpet, and every other somber instrument.

Phase 2: Feel unworthy

After I blame everyone in my life for failing to be my ride or dies (like Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte were for Carrie), I point the finger to myself. How dare you believe you can succeed as an entrepreneur? What makes you think you can sell anything? Quit while you’re ahead, yo.

Yup, that’s me talking to myself. My internal dialogue is hardcore. When I feel like I failed to meet a goal, my negative self-talk get really dark really fast. I am extremely hard on myself. I am also extremely optimistic. That’s why it’s difficult to launch and not meet my sales goals. It doesn’t feel good. And when you don’t feel good enough you self sabotage success.

Phase 3: Second guess the chosen path

If you think the last rabbit hole was bad, hold on to your ears. During the third phase of Self Sabotage Success Sequence I second guess my chosen path. I analyze every career choice I have made and every project that has failed and every decision that I have made. I falter. I flounder. I cry, what am I going to do now?!!! Instead of keep on keeping on, I make impulsive decisions based on desperation to “course correct” and may just end up in a get rich quick scheme, much like you see in the movies. So, if you see me on “the pole” one day, you know the rabbit hole got so deep I couldn’t pull myself out with my panties on.

Phase 4: Desperate decisions

I deep dive into my next “venture” because I am too afraid to try again with my planner and instead, I want to bolt. What if I only sell four planners? Insert cry face emoji here. (Yes, you’re supposed to read that. You know, cause it’s funny!) What if that’s all there is?! I don’t like those yucky feelings, so I redirect my energy into something brand new or revert to an old project or idea that I abandoned. Or that I did launch but that I did not give enough time to flourish.

I have followed this pattern to the letter many times. Due to my self-awareness and my breath of knowledge regarding the Self Sabotage Success Sequence, I shifted perspective and my behavior quickly. The veil of confusion and delusion lifted after 24 hours of pondering next moves and beating myself up over life choices. I let my self-perceived failure sink in while eating vanilla and chocolate ice cream and watching 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days (my obsession – even more so than self sabotage!) I stayed off Instagram and YouTube, and spent the day playing Simon Says and Hide and Seek with my son, Evan. I prayed to God right before bedtime and asked for clear guidance: God, please reassure me I am on the right path. I need to know my planner, my coaching program, my desire to help women and be a storyteller is my soul purpose. The next morning I had an aha moment.

This isn’t a failure. I set a goal to launch and to sell a planner, and I did just that. I learned from my past mistakes and did things differently.

I created a strategy for Instagram stories and my website. I planned and promoted before my planner launched. I did all the right things. I just have to revise and relaunch. 

overcoming self sabotage success

Commence Love Myself Enough Sequence. Because that’s where self sabotage stems from; a place deep within that whispers, who do you think you are? You’re not good enough to accomplish your goals and be successful. That’s why I took a day. That’s why I took a breath. That’s why I spoke to God and even called on my ancestors, my abuela Tata, for guidance. I am proud of myself for setting an intention and accomplishing said goal. I show myself compassion when it isn’t just as I imagined. Especially when my Amazon sales have yet to come in.

If you need help discovering your passion or need a push to get started,  learn more about my new accountability program where I help you accomplish your goals through creative brainstorming, planning, and ACTION.

Wait! There’s a video version of this very story. Watch to see me in action.

If you need help discovering your passion or need a push to get started,  learn more about my new accountability program where I help you accomplish your goals through creative brainstorming, planning, and ACTION.

Love Yourself Enough to Pursue Your Passion Despite Fear
I Used To Self Sabotage My Success