I have a confession to make and it’s not one that I am proud of. I quit everything that’s hard. Like, everything. Before you judge me like Saturn, my astrological papi, let me provide some context.
I am an incredibly hard worker. Just this weekend when my son was with his father, I worked 12 consecutive hours both Saturday and Sunday. I can be such a workaholic that I forget to eat, urinate, and drink water. It’s bad, y’all. My uterus can confirm this.
What I struggle with is pouring my energy, creativity, and skillset into anything that I don’t love. If I’m into it, I am all in, that includes friendships, romantic partnerships, work projects, and jobs. If I feel like I’m dragging myself into a job or rolling my eyes whenever I speak to a friend over the phone, I know it’s time for me to go.
Watch It! Running Away When Things Get Tough
But, wait, Sujeiry! Why don’t you just keep at it? Maybe you’ll learn to love the job! Maybe that friend had an off day! I get it, trust me. Your logic is unflawed. I just can’t cope with feeling confined in that manner. When I feel boxed in, when I am being challenged in ways that make me feel uncomfortable, or when I just don’t give a fuck, I bounce.
So, you see, I don’t quit everything, per say. I just leave the people, places, and things that keep me stifled. In hindsight, and to my loved ones, that seems to be pretty much everything. I know I have to learn to suck up certain situations and take on the lessons. I’ve gotten better, I give myself that. Recently, I remained at a job for 2 years although I felt my skillset was taken advantage of by my superior. Plus, the pay was shit. I stayed despite feeling stagnant because I needed to be practical and work toward financial independence. It wasn’t easy, I wanted to quit so bad. But, I found a way to stay put.
How to Not Quit Everything
If you run away when things get tough, ask yourself these questions:
- What is being triggered in me that I want to quit? For me, it’s sometimes my feelings of unworthiness. I quit everything that’s hard because it makes me feel stupid. I don’t ever want to feel like I can’t handle something.
- What will I learn if I stay? You may just need this lesson. If you always run away when confronted with the same scenario, you’ll continue to find yourself in that circumstance until you stick it out and learn. Let’s say you always quit a relationship when you feel like you’re falling in love. You probably do so because you fear rejection and want to protect yourself. However, in doing so, you are then robbing yourself of the experience of love.
- What will happen if I go? Look at the flip side of it. If you go, are you missing out on the love of your life or a career that can change your life and bring you abundance? Sometimes what we don’t see in front of us is what we need.
- How do I feel when I quit? You know you’ve made the right choice in quitting when you feel empowered versus feeling like you’ve made a huge mistake. How you react to moving on speaks volumes about the choice that you made.
So, if you revert to that same old coping mechanism, be honest with yourself about how running away is hurting you or benefiting you. As for me, I am saying no to all the right things. I am running toward what serves me and leaving everything else in the dust.
Sujeiry Gonzalez (Love Sujeiry) is a professional writer, performer, and digital storyteller. Coined the Latina Carrie Bradshaw, she is the go-to chica for all things love and the Founder of LoveSujeiry.com, a digital platform sharing relationship advice and stories from a Latina perspective.