I have a fear of the unknown. And because of this fear, I have an internal dialogue that runs through my mind on a loop, much like a Hot 97 mixtape. (Straight from the boombox tape recorder, yo.) That mixtape is full of familiar jams, even though they’re played out and disgustingly misogynistic (you down with O.P.P? Yea you know…wait, did they just refer to women as property?)
My internal dialogue is just as detrimental as the lyrics to “Other People’s Property.” I talk myself into applying and accepting jobs that I don’t desire because the little voice in my head convinces me I don’t have a choice. I ignore red flags and relationship dealbreakers because I’m afraid of what will happen next as a single woman in mid-life. And I do it over and over again. I continue to play that terrible song (I’m talking about you, Naughty by Nature) on a loop. I make unaligned life decisions because of my need to control outcomes. “I got no patience, and I hate waiting” (thanks Jay-Z). So I “put the needle on the record” (circa: M/A/R/R/S) to speed up life.
This, my friends, is the life of a woman that has a fear of the unknown. So if you’re tracking with me, if you feel like my life is your life, keep reading.
Indicators that You Have a Fear of the Unknown
So, how do you know if you’re moving through life with a fear of the unknown? Here’s a checklist:
- You’re obsessed with figuring out what will happen next.
- You calculate your every move and decision. Sometimes you even map out next steps on a poster board.
- You brainstorm various scenarios to calculate your next move.
- You rehearse conversations in your mind.
- You’re obsessed with tarot and psychic readings because you want specific details about what will happen next in your professional and personal life. And you go often.
- You seek answers through the bible. I see you flipping and stopping at pages to find a sign within psalms.
- You watch preachings hoping God speaks to you and tells you what to do.
- You try to control outcomes by pushing people for answers and pushing people to act.
If this resonates, you’re in danger, girl! And it’s time to evolve from this fear-based thinking into intuitive decision-making.
These Tools Can Help You
Journaling. It’s a simple practice but writing down your thoughts on why you think you fear the unknown will help you uncover the core issues. The Magic of Mindset journal is super helpful as it guides you to get unstuck in order to shift your mindset.
Read great books. My Friend Fear is not only aesthetically pleasing, but it’s also an excellent source to help you move past the fear of the unknown. This book holds a mix of personal reflections and asks readers insightful questions to reflect on fear.
Oracle card. Oracle cards won’t predict what will happen next, which is something that those that have a fear of the unknown seek out. Let’s just say they are a nice bridge to connecting with your intuition. Ask them questions for your highest good. Use them to help you become more in tune with your instincts and your heart so you can start making intuitive-based decisions. I recommend using the Moonology Oracle cards and The Spirit Animal Oracle cards. They’ve helped me tremendously.
As for me, I am working on remaining present and making decisions for my highest good. I am in a great emotional and mental space, mostly because of writing, which I’ve been doing every day. That’s the last tip I’ll throw at you: find a hobby or passion that keeps you in the now. Pour your energy into it and watch as your life transforms. Trust me when I say (and Sheryl Crow sings), “a change will do you good.”