I am a single mom. I had my daughter when I was 19. We don’t have a huge age gap so I hoped she would be just like me – well, minus the whole pregnant teen thing. I imagine she’d rock crazy, colored hair and want a few piercings. We would listen to all kinds of music together. We would be two free spirits living in our big house, sipping on herbal tea while divulging secrets.
Fast forward to the real world. My daughter is actually ultra conservative. She would never alter her appearance in any way. We don’t go shopping at thrift shops; in fact we frequent Hollister. She loves sports, and as a high school student she has already earned college credits. I am very proud of her but we have little in common.
She isn’t even dating. Between her studies, her friends and sports, my 16-year old daughter says she doesn’t have the time. 16 and not dating?! She’s an anomaly. I, on the other hand, have always enjoyed meeting and mingling with men. Well, let me rephrase it – I try to date often, but she’s often on my case.
I have a 10 p.m. curfew. If I’m out past 10 p.m, my phone begins to vibrate repeatedly. She continues to call; if I don’t pick up, I receive a a series of brutal texts.
My teenage daughter requires I show her a photo of the men that I’m dating. Typically, she disapproves when they have an edgy look. Everyone has their own taste. Unfortunately, my daughter disapproves of mine.
It’s crazy, I know! It’s like she’s the mom and I’m the teenager. You can imagine how challenging it is for me to have an active sex life. I’ve had to get creative.
One time I dated a guy from my hometown. He wasn’t looking for a relationship, but I had literally had a crush on him since 11 years old! I snuck him in my house. It was very late and we started to get hot and heavy on my couch. I couldn’t believe I was kissing my childhood crush! I was DTF! Trying to be slick, I slowly led him up the creaky steps to my bedroom. (My daughter’s bedroom is down the hall.) We made it to my room undetected, locked the door and started getting it on. And then my daughter barged in. She demanded that he leave immediately, called me a slut and claimed we disturbed her sleep. She slammed the door and went back to her bedroom. I have never seen a man get dressed so quickly. It was mortifying. That ended my brief liaison with my childhood crush.
Luckily, I’ve found a solution to my dilemma. I now send her to my parent’s house every summer and every other weekend. It might seem unfair, but I need to have a life. Just because I’m a single mom, it doesn’t mean my vagina and heart should be off limits! Also, if I think a man has long-term potential, I will introduce them to my daughter. But that is rare due to her high standards. Ah, the struggle of being a single mom!