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Saying ‘I Can’ Gets The Guy — And Hot Jeans

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The Single Life

Saying ‘I Can’ Gets The Guy — And Hot Jeans

Saying ‘I Can’ Gets The Guy — And Hot Jeans

When you say “I can’t” you seal your fate. There’s no need to explain anything else to anyone or to you after that.

Without a doubt one of my favorite things to do is browse websites and look at expensive things I can’t afford. Let’s be serious, even discounted websites are over my price range. Sorry Gilt, I will not be spending 165 dollars on your fancy jeans. Because that’s ridiculous, right?

Honestly, who would want to spend that much money for pants that look like they would fit like a glove? Pants that would go perfectly with my boyfriend blazer. Wait, if I wear them 165 times then they’ll basically pay for themselves. I’ll just tell all my friends I have to wear the same pair of jeans for 5 and a half months because of a newly discovered medical jeans condition. I’ll just live on peanut butter sandwiches until I get my bank account together again after this set back. Peanut better is a great source of protein so it’s not like I’ll pass away and even if I do I’ll just ask to be buried in these jeans. I’m so sorry I ever doubted you Gilt. I will buy your wonderful fancy jeans!

Just as I’m in the middle of my awesome idea my friend, Jah, brings me down to earth.

“Instead of saying, ‘I can’t afford that’ what you should say is, ‘How can I afford it?’

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Suddenly, all the images of dancing jeans and peanut butter sandwiches stop. He’s right. Saying “I can’t” does two things: 1) it brings you to a halt (you can’t do it so why even try) and/or 2) if you’re crazy like me, you make up elaborate plans and end up doing something that just hurts you in the end anyway.

There’s something very powerful about saying “I can’t.” Those two words are a full sentence. There’s no need to explain anything else to anyone or to you after that.

The way to take the power away from “I can’t” is to ask yourself a question that springs you into action.

How can I afford the expensive fancy jeans? I can find another source of income or maybe figure out where I can spend less.

I can’t leave the job I hate because I have to get my bills paid. How can you put yourself in the position to leave and still get things paid?

I can’t leave this relationship even though I know it’s no good for me. How can you leave and who can you surround youself with that will make it easier for you?

Fear is the reason we put up many mental barriers that stop us from doing what we want to do. Put yourself in the position to act rather than a position that doesn’t allow you to move forward. Instead of saying, “I can’t,” how about asking, “How can I?”

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Larissa Vasquez is a writer and blogger based in New York City.

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