I saw this on my Facebook timeline and my male “friends” insisted that taking a first date to McDonalds was an ACTUAL date.
Waaaait a minute….are you telling me that I make up my face extra beautiful and beat for the Gods, put on a cute dress that accentuates my booty just right, and shave my legs so you can take me through a McDonald’s drive-through? You know those chicken nuggets we eat in your car are going to kill my stomach. That’s a date?! OH HELL NO!
I might as well stay home in my comfy PJ’s and watch my favorite Lifetime movie about killing some man (who probably deserved it) while eating a pint of ice-cream. You know, since you’re trying to torture my intestines anyway.
Whatever happened to the days of courtship? You know, that thing our grandparents did (and maybe even our own parents) where a woman was the object of a man’s affection. Where a woman didn’t have to give up the goods just so a man could feel she was worth a real date. Where a man would actually drive to pick up a woman at her front door instead of saying, “Hey, can you drive because my mom took the car out tonight?” True story.
It’s dead. Courtship is dead and it’s all our fault, ladies. That’s what this guy told me anyway, that courtship is obsolete because women don’t ask for it anymore and, when men do treat us with a little TLC, we call them “thirsty” or “too nice.” He’s right. I am placing some of the blame on us. We are making it too easy for men and they are becoming lazy because of it. Men are just not working hard enough to woo us and commit to a relationship because we let them get away with it.
Thing is men should be chivalrous. They should buy us flowers and be romantic to show they care. I am not saying men should have to jump through hoops for us; let’s not play games either, chicas. But, we have to flip the script. If you’re dating a man and you are completely into him, demand courtship, dammit! How do you do that? For one, stop accusing men of being too nice, too thirsty, too desperate – just too much.
Allow a man to actually show interest. Instead of rolling your eyes, show appreciation for the little things he does, such as holding the door open or giving you a compliment.
When he asks for your number and starts texting, tell him that you prefer to talk on the phone. Set this precedence right away; demand that he calls because your relationship won’t go anywhere otherwise. If he’s really about you, he’ll take you seriously and think, “Oh, this one is for real! Let me get my shit together.”
Also, please share your standard of courtship. If your idea of a first date isn’t McDonalds, it’s perfectly okay to say that. Conversing on the phone and getting to know each other is the only way he will understand the type of woman you are and your expectations.
Ultimately, when women demand courtship it weeds out the men from boys who will buy you chicken nuggets. You don’t have to bust out a literal list of demands when you start dating, but when you are honest with him (with humility) about who you are and what you expect and deserve, he’ll happily and naturally court you off your feet. And, yes, that may even be at McDonalds.