When single I complicated dating because I thought men were the complicated ones. Instead of taking accountability for my actions (drink and dialing, yelling at a guy outside of his college dorm, choosing noncommital men) I blamed fulanito when he wouldn’t return my calls or zombied the shit out of me.
What I should have done was leave his ass alone as soon as he showed me he was playing games. What I should have done is realize that, like the ABCs, men aren’t complicated at all; some men are just cowards and, therefore, ghost instead of admit, “I’m just not that into you.” And yes, some men do make dating harder than it has to be, but, if you really take inventory on how he’s treating you (not what he is saying to you) you’ll get yourself (and your heart) out of this hopeless love story.
So, what if you’re clueless or don’t want to admit he’s not going to choose you. What are those tell tale signs that he’s not that into you? Let me help ya with these dating tips.
Always a last minute date.
He doesn’t take the time to ask if you’re free and assumes you’re available. He never plans a date in advance. This is a sure sign that he’s not into you. A man who appreciates your company puts in the effort. Spontaneity is sexy but a pattern of unreliability is just unreliable.
Keeps you playing the game of limbo – only it isn’t fun.
Stop thinking about limbo as a fun game that you play in Jamaica, mon. This limbo sucks! You’ll be singing “how long can you go” if you keep messing with fools that keep playing games and aren’t honest about a damn thing regarding your place in his life. Limbo in a relationship keeps us stuck and filled with questions. He has you “on the shelf,” which means he isn’t telling you where you stand, what he wants, or what he feels. Only he is. His lack of commitment and vacillation say it all – he’s just not that into you.
Tells you he wants to be single.
If he tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him. I will repeat this again. If he tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him. And don’t try to talk yourself into changing his mind, which many women do try. We also make excuses for his lack of commitment and think that if we try hard enough, do enough, are “perfect” enough, or give him enough of the pepa that we will convince him to choose us to commit to. See his actions for what they are and stop excusing his lack of effort and commitment.
Bottom line, when a man wants a woman, he pursues that woman and commits. It’s that simple. They are that simple. So ‘C’ your way out of there.