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7 Reasons Why Some Women Aren’t Into Casual Sex

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Sexy Time

7 Reasons Why Some Women Aren’t Into Casual Sex

Not into casual sex? Many women still aren’t. Here’s why they’re holding out for the real deal.

When I was in college, folks hooked up at the crack of dawn. We called it “creeping,” and it’s exactly what you think it is. At 4am (or whenever UMass was quiet) men and women  ventured out to get booty. Donning black hoodies to cover their faces and sneakers to speed walk, they’d trek through campus to get some action – secretly. You see, creeping was all about keeping your sexcapades on the down low. Unlike today, women weren’t as open to admit that they partake in casual sex.

A recent study stated that women are just as into casual sex as men are; however, the women must feel safe in the environment and with the guy. So, is that it? Is creeping officially back? Not exactly. Many women, including myself, have never been into casual sex. And here’s why:

STDs

STD’s are real, yo! And they are running rampant. According to the CDC, over 79 million Americans have contracted HPV and there are 18 million new cases a year. So it’s safe to say that having casual sex can be scary for many. When you are with a partner, you can get tested together. When you are having casual sex, the STD conversation rarely comes up, if at all.

PLUS: Don’t Do It! Couple Convicted of Having Sex on the Beach

Lack of Connection

I can say that I have felt a lack of connection when having casual sex. It’s just not intimate. And sex is intimate. You’re swapping spit and entering each other’s bodies! So, I rather like the guy, even love him, before sex so I can feel that emotional bond.

Not Very Safe

Aside from STDs, going to a random guy’s apartment to have casual sex isn’t very safe. Anything can happen and many women fear the worst, so they keep their legs closed till they get to know the guy a bit more.

Destroys Friendships

Let’s say you have casual sex with a friend; he’s a Friends with Benefits. This may be safer but some women feel that crossing that line can ruin the friendship. And it can. This person knows you. You enjoy hanging out. Throw in sex and feelings may develop. Whatever will you do if they are not reciprocated, or if your booty buddy just wants sex? Exactly.

Want Something Serious

Yes, many women want a commitment. Casual sex rarely lends to that. There are exceptions to the rule. I know a handful of women who married the guy that started off as a sex buddy, or he was a one-night stand who didn’t go away. Again, if you want a serious relationship, you should take sex and all matters of the heart seriously.

MORE: How Many Sex Partners? Tackling The Numbers Talk

Awkward First Time

Having sex for the first time with anyone can be super awkward. You want to do your best and be the best. You want to show you’re a pro! So, imagine how nerve-racking it is when having sex for the first time with a person you rarely know. I’m sweating with just the thought.

That Elusive Big O

There are a few reasons why people engage in sex: baby making, connecting, and to experience an orgasm. When having casual sex you don’t want the first two to occur, but you should always want to experience The Big O. Thing is when a man doesn’t know you it’s harder for him to find your sweet spot. He may also be selfish and not care about your needs in bed, just his own. So what’s the point? If casual sex doesn’t lend to an orgasm every time, I say it’s a waste of a “creep” and your goods.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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