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How the Sex Talk Should Have Gone When I Was a Horny Teen

Birds and the Bees
Flickr: Giuss95.

Sexy Time

How the Sex Talk Should Have Gone When I Was a Horny Teen

Sujeiry’s mom warned her about pregnancy and what not to do when Aunt Flow visits. So she rewrites her own sex talk.

This title may be misleading. Mami never actually gave me the “sex talk.” Also, I may have been asexual from the ages of 15 to 20. Seriously, not even a young Christian Bale would have gotten me wet. And it’s Christian Bale!

Christian Bale Hot

Still, I wish my traditional momma would have sat me down and given it to me straight. Instead, I went to pee, pulled down my pants and panties and peed out a pool of blood. I wasn’t dying, I just menstruated for the first time. Actually, for a 12 year old that feels a lot like death.

PLUS: How Changing Your Internal Dialogue Helps Your Love Life

What happened next was even more morbid. My mom lay me down in my bed, put a pillow under my feet and told me in more ways than one that I was a woman now. And I could get pregnant. And I can’t paint my nails or eat lemons or too much chocolate (cause you’re totally going to break out every month) or wash your hair when Tia Flow comes to visit. What the fuck is wrong me now?! I dared not ask. Off my mother went, checking on my status every few hours as I lay there contemplating life and wondering, why wasn’t I born a boy?

So, you see, there was no talk about the birds and the bees. But I can’t blame my mom because she probably didn’t have the talk either, or her mother or her mother’s mother. Still, I sure hoped she’d sit me down and tell me what I know now:

“Ok, Sujeiry, sex feels really really good when you know what you like and you are with the right man. But, sometimes guys are douche bags and will wine and dine you just to get some booty. Other times you may just want booty. Just follow your gut and be discriminatory, ok? Oh, and love is not sex!”

Instead I learned about my vagina in sex ed class, and blushed like a ripened tomato in “My Body, My Health” in college when my professor shared a masturbation story and then yelled, “Masturbation is good for you!” How does one even do that? I pondered. I was no dummy but in my family no one ever spoke about how to masturbate, what one does to feel good and explore said lady parts. Up till that point, most of my good girlfriends were just as innocent and clueless as I was. We were like The Virgin Posse. Sure, they fondled and sucked body parts (unlike my prudish former self) but they had never touched themselves or really learned how to satisfy a guy.

MORE: 6 Times to Mic Drop When in a Relationship

If I had it my way,  I would go back in time to that moment in the bathroom. Aunt Flow would arrive and when Mami walked me to my bedroom I’d tell her, “Mami, I want to talk about sex.” She’d sit me down and say, “What do you want to know?” and I’d ask her about touching myself, feeling horny (or if there was anything odd with not feeling anything at the time) orgasms, and following my woman’s intuition when it came to men and sex. That way from early on we would’ve had an open rapport, and I could’ve admired the hotness that is Christian Bale way sooner.

Christian Bale American Psycho

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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