I fell in love with my first man bun in 2009. I was 20 years old. He was the greatest love I ever had and the most painful heartbreak I ever experienced. I was fascinated by his unique sense of style and undeniably aroused by his subtle touch of femininity. He was big, beautiful, rugged, sensitive and destructive all wrapped into one. His vibe was mysterious and his energy was captivating – I couldn’t figure him out. To this day, I’ve yet to experience a greater or more torturous love than that of the man bun – and I blame it on androgyny.
His bun wasn’t a fashion statement, and that’s why I found it so erotic. He genuinely felt comfortable dappling with femininity and he definitely didn’t stop at long hair. He stood out from his peers because he was comfortable with his sexuality and confident in expressing himself in ways deemed unconventional for his gender. I couldn’t get enough.
I might be in the minority. Today, man buns represent a trend practiced by men from all walks of life and no one is happy about it. There’s a serious crisis occurring that’s stripping the OG’s from their deserved title as Androgynous Sex Gods. I reached out to my man-bun loving girlfriends in hopes their perspective on the trend will help put an end to the epidemic of posers.
The majority of girls stressed that they JUST CAN’T with the new hipster buns but they haven’t lost hope for the OG’s rocking a full head of hair.
“I’m not into those grape-sized man buns with the shaved sides. But would I fuck a really attractive man with a beard and tattoos and a normal man bun? Yes.”
“No shaved sides with a little top knot. He needs to have a full head of hair in order to pull it off and look sexy.”
“I’m totally fine with a long-haired functioning man bun-like a low one. But I’m not down with the new 1-inch bun that serves no purpose right on top of their heads!”
The rest of the ladies stressed that man bun wearers must scream masculinity in order to pull it off.
“There’s one man bun at the gym that I love. The guy looks like Wolverine!”
“I love man buns as long as it’s paired with facial hair or enough masculinity to balance the bun.”
“I love man buns as long as the face attached to it is rugged and good looking. I like men with buns when they have Tarzan hair.”
“They need to be hyper masculine to pull it off.”
Others are pro-man bun as long as personal hygiene is a top priority.
“Sexy! Just as long as it’s relatively clean.”
“Yes, super sexy when sloppy. But reality is, they most likely stink.”
And then there were the girls who were 100% anti-discrimination.
“I don’t think girls should be the only ones able to rock long hair. Guys’ hair nowadays is so boring with the same old styles. It’s nice to see something new brought to the table.”
“There’s something to be said about a man’s confidence in having long hair.”
Can we please bring back the OG’s who fulfill all man bun wearing requirements? Where have all the Tarzan’s gone and why have they been replaced with Steve Urkel’s?