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So You Had Sex on a First Date…Now What?

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So You Had Sex on a First Date…Now What?

You hook up with a cutie on the first date. But will he still be into you after the deed?

by Lovestruck

So you met for the first time, there was instant sizzling chemistry, and then flirt turned to a kiss and a kiss turned to…sex on a first date, actually.

Last night you felt unbridled passion and reckless abandonment but this morning you feel slightly guilty. Why? Men sleep with women on first dates all the time and you’re a single grown-up, right? But it seems that although women pretty much stand shoulder to shoulder with men on most things, society unfairly still deems that sleeping with a stranger isn’t one of them.

PLUS: Why ‘Hot Dates’ Hook-Up Quicker

From a young age women heard it from older peers, ‘having sex on a first date is slutty’ and that ‘no man will respect them in the morning. But with some dates, you just can’t predict what you’re going to feel or do especially once the wine starts to flow.

Most men will admit that having sex with them on a first date is no guarantee they’ll ever see you again, and it certainly won’t boost your chances of finding a relationship. But we also can’t say it won’t either.

There’s a definite shift in the way men perceive women who ‘do the deed’ on the first date. Men are always incredibly grateful for such a woman, obviously, but slowly, the judgmental man of yesteryear is disappearing and they are embracing (in more ways than one) all the needs and desires of today’s modern women.

Here’s the thing. You’re two consenting single adults. As long as you’re safe and you’re not hurting anybody else, why not have sex on the first date? Just keep in mind the following:

1. It’s an encounter based entirely on impulsive, carefree lust. This is not love.

2. Them sleeping with you does not mean they want to see you again. Again, it’s not love or a relationship.

3. You may see them again but be clear if you want it to be a ‘friends with benefits.’ But we figure that one of you will what something more, eventually.

4. On average, women form a more emotional bond after sex then men do. We are wired differently and that’s not a bad thing.

5. If you guys are meant to be together, sleeping together on a first date will not stand in your way! When a man has feelings for you when you had sex really doesn’t matter.

MORE: Is It Lust or Love?

6. Do what feels right for YOU. Be mindful of what you ultimately want out of it all. If the end goal is love, don’t lose sight of that.

Lastly, be safe in more ways than one. Make sure if you’re going to sleep with a relative stranger, that somebody knows exactly where you are and if we can, we’d always suggest they ‘come in for a coffee’ at your place.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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