We’ve all heard the saying: men love bitches. But what about the women who aren’t bitches? What happens to us? Do we not get the guy? Does the guy walk all over us if we don’t stand our ground?
It’s a Catch-22, especially for nice, sweet women who don’t want to play games in relationships. When men aren’t meeting our needs we often struggle with knowing when to let things go, when to be the bigger person or when to put our foot down. Little fights become huge fights and in the end, the nice women – not the bitches – are the ones who apologize or extend the olive branch.
Whenever I’d fight with my boyfriend, I used to think that going to bed angry was the worst thing ever. I hated the silent treatment. Instead of letting the argument stew, I would take the first step to work things out. I’d set aside my pride, call him and let go of my anger and hurt. But, lately things have changed. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years now, and I finally realized that as women we have to stand our ground and sometimes let a man come to us. I learned it’s not about pride; it’s about giving them time to realize they are in the wrong.
A lot of nice women fear this. What if not initiating a truce makes it worse? you think. If your relationship is real and your man is committed to you, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t call him right away. He won’t break up with you just because you’re not ready to talk. This is especially the case if you live together. It is ok to go to bed angry even when sharing a bed. Your relationship won’t end. Your world won’t shatter.
Also, standing your ground doesn’t mean you have to retaliate. It simply means you are taking care of your needs and valuing your own feelings. When you and your man are arguing use the time to do something nice for yourself. Go to the gym, go shopping, go out with the girls – DO YOU! Remember that relationships are about a give and take, you shouldn’t always be the one that’s giving.
So, nice girls, you don’t have to be a bitch, but you should stand your ground. Grow a backbone and learn to value yourself.