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Four Weddings Invitations and a Dick Pic

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Four Weddings Invitations and a Dick Pic

A straight up picture of his penis. In my face.

It was New Years Eve, minutes before the start of 2014. I was 19 and completely heartbroken over a guy I imagined I’d be with forever. (I was 19, I didn’t know any better!) So there I was, single and somber, playing darts with my friend at a bar, when I noticed this guy checking me out.

He walked over to us and I quickly learned that he is a family friend of my friend. At 29 years old, Fam Friend had also recently ended a relationship. His age intimidated me a little; I thought he might be too old and mature for me. Still, we talked the entire night and exchanged phone numbers while I sat on his lap on the car ride home.

PLUS: 7 Ways to Sext with Emojis

We started texting pretty frequently. Fam Friend kept insisting we go on a date; he really wanted to take me out to dinner, which was sweet. He even asked if I would be his date at four weddings the following summer. That was so far in the future, it was hard to believe he was serious. Still, I felt wanted. Problem was  the more I spoke to him the more I realized I didn’t actually like him. He was too much, too soon – and I wasn’t comfortable anymore.

I became distant and eventually stopped responding to texts and phone calls. He got the hint and stopped texting me for a while, until one night at 1 a.m.

“Hey there. Just wanted to say hi. I hope you’re doing well,” he wrote.

It was late, I decided not to respond. 10 minutes later, he texted me again.

“I want you badely.”

Badely? A spelling mistake. He must be drunk, I thought. I ignored him again. 20 minutes later and another text. What do you want?! I grabbed my phone and opened up his message.

Dick pic. A straight up picture of his penis. In my face. Right now. Unwanted. Uncalled for. Horrifying.

Rachel Berry Scared face

His penis was erect and in the background on the floor was a box of cigarettes and a condom wrapper. I shrieked and tossed my phone, somehow falling asleep after that trauma.

The next morning, I texted him a long message about how offended I was. How dare you? I typed furiously. Who do you think you are? Never speak to me again!  He never responded.

Fast-forward six months later; I was at the same bar at my friend’s surprise birthday party. Of course, he was there too. He completely avoided me, and I was relieved. But a few hours later we were back to playing darts like the first time we met. He was relatively close, we ignored each other. How nice that we could both enjoy our nights in harmony, especially since I know what his penis looks like, I thought.

My phone beeped.

“Hey so sorry about that won’t ever happen again, I hope we can try again I would love to take you out sometime.”

This guy was apologizing for a dick pic he sent six months ago, and had the audacity to ask me out.

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All I could do was laugh. And to think I was afraid he’d be too mature for me.

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Christina Cardona is a hopeless romantic and a total Queens girl. Over the years she has realized that mostly all experience is good experience, and there is a lesson in everything. She plans to share her dating faux pas and help women of all ages understand that sometimes life just happens - and that's ok! When she is not persuading others that knows girls can do anything boys can do, you can find her in a yoga class or walking neighborhood dogs.


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