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I Wasn’t a Mean Girl, I Was Just Single?

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Ay Love!

I Wasn’t a Mean Girl, I Was Just Single?

Was I mean because I was a single gal? A look at how some women in relationships see singles.

Recently, I was told that I am a lot nicer because I am in a relationship. It isn’t true. I’ve always been nice, I just didn’t want to be ah-chucks sweet to that one person. She irked me in many ways but I won’t retell those stories. Doing so wouldn’t be very nice of me.

I do have a mean streak, but it has nothing to do with my relationship status or that time of the month. I’m not moody either. Like most of us, some people just get under my skin. So I quip and snip and react like Regina George. Boo, you whore.

Still, this persons observation rattled me. Because I remembered how women in relationships looked at me when I was a single woman. Mostly with pity and a tinge of envy. Well, I’m here to state the obvious: I’m the same person I was when single. I am also:

1. Just as capable of being mean. And probably kicking judgmental ass.

2. As happy with myself as when folks assumed I was wallowing in my single sorrow. Sure, Boo makes me happier, but I was not a miserable 30-something-year-old single woman prepping a room for all her cat friends.

3. Still without child. Just because I have a man doesn’t mean I’m purposely sexing him on my ovulation days. We have sex but it’s not to put a baby in my oven. It’s for orgasms! Duh.

4. I look just as hot as when single. I primp and press even when going to the bodega. It’s the Dominican way.

5. Lastly, I give as little or as much of a shit as I did when single. It all depends on who you are and how much I care. My new relationship status does not make us besties because you can now “relate” to me. You know, since I’m no longer a single gal in the city.

PLUS: 8 Different Relationship Labels and What They Mean

So, yes, I was once mean to that gal and decided not to be the last time around. It’s called maturity, folks. I am striving to be a better person who let’s things go. Don’t put it on on dickmatization.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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