I grew up with divorced parents who continuously got back together even after legal papers were signed, sealed and delivered. It was confusing to say the least. No wonder I used to fall for inconsistent men! The off-again/on-again dynamic totally did a number on me, especially since Mami and Papi’s breakups were straight off a Venezuelan telenovela. But, divorce doesn’t have to be that complicated.
Enter Gwyneth Paltrow and her “conscious uncoupling.” To many Latinas, the only way to uncouple is to throw dishes, scream at the top of your lungs, and look extra fine when you see your ex marido. Well, according to a study, more couples are following Goop’s route and breaking up amicably – depending on the state in which you reside.
CompleteCase.com discovered the states where couples are cordially divorcing versus throwing their man’s shit out the window. They compared couples in each state who stated they were in a good place with their ex-partner and those who loathed their ex. Which states have the most amicable divorces? Where are couples parting ways and dividing dinero with a handshake and not a slap? Check out the list (with my further commentary and comical explanation!):
- Vermont. It’s state motto is “freedom and unity!” And hating your ex-spouse isn’t freeing at all!
- Oklahoma. Perhaps people are happier in Oklahoma because of the song “Oooooo-klahoma!” Makes me smile every time.
- Rhode Island. It’s a tiny state, so you’d bump into your ex all of the time. Better be nice to them then!
- Oregon. Lots of strippers in Portland, so maybe that eases the pain of heartbreak?
- Kansas. Um, Dorothy was super positive even after being shipped to Oz via a tornado! So Kansan’s are positive too!
- Idaho. Potato’s make everyone see the bright side.
- Louisiana. One word: Mardi Gras.
- Delaware. See Rhode Island.
- Ohio. Humidity makes Ohioan’s not want to fight for money or anything else. It’s so hot there in the summer!
- Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas – including post-divorce pleasantries.
New York didn’t make the top 10. Makes sense: we can be so grumpy! And our breakups are oh so complicated.