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Understanding The Serial Monogamist

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Understanding The Serial Monogamist

Some people can never be alone. They jump from relationship to relationship, seeking companionship, affection and comfort in another’s arms, as routinely as women head for a chocolate bar during that time of the month. It is a pattern that baffles. How shocked are you when a girlfriend who has spent nights sobbing on your shoulder suddenly appears to a gathering with a new beau in tow? She was just mourning her lost love over a pint of Haagen Daz ice cream and there she is, bright smile and thinner than ever, with a replacement!

You try to wrap your mind around it. She hasn’t mourned the relationship. How could she? Her former lover and future husband (as she often claimed) just went missing (see: ran away!) a few weeks prior.

Is she crazy or just needy?

According to a study, the serial monogamist is neither. They have a different mindset, sure, but it doesn’t mean they are wrong. Serial monogamists usually believe in an ideal love but don’t necessarily believe that love happens once in a lifetime. While others who take a break from dating feel the need to cope because they lost their “one,” serial monogamist don’t believe that the one that got away was necessarily “the one,” even when they wholeheartedly believe that they have found “the one” at the time.

Confused yet? Let me explain.

Serial monogamist are actually much more realistic than those who take a break from dating. That’s because they’ve given up on the pretense that love should last forever. So it’s no big deal to end a relationship, cry for a few days and get right back on the market. The study, however, does state that it’s not about giving up the dream, per say, but relinquishing the belief that our current romantic relationship will last forever. Even when they hope that’s the case, they will not be devastated if the relationships burns into a flame of doom. Instead, they take the lessons from the former relationship and seek someone new, someone whom they perceive to be closer to the ideal lover.

So, the next time your friend is hooting and hollering about Jose or Mike or whatever man got away, just remember it’s only temporary. She will get back on the horse (literally) eventually.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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