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Love Twitter Trends: Motherfucker! Yup, #thatswhyyourmyex

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Love Twitter Trends: Motherfucker! Yup, #thatswhyyourmyex

#thatswhyyourmyex Twitter Trending TopicI have ex-boyfriends. 3 to be exact. And since I am a healthy, mature 32-year old woman, I reevaluate every relationship and why it came to an end.

George was my first official boyfriend. I was 25 when we met and 26 when it was o-v-e-r: OVER! Our relationship was filled with nights of drinking and dancing, including sweating to the oldies between the sheets. It was a purely sexual relationship. Nothing in common other than being social, Latino butterflies. Sure, we had fun. But fun does not a lasting relationship make.

My next boyfriend was Elijah: my Colombian-Puerto Rican, South Jerseyite. Elijah was only 21. There in lied the problem. His ex-girlfriend was also a twitch that not even the strongest Colombian cafecito could subdue.

Last but not least (okay, maybe he is the least important) is Johnny. Puerto Rican-Italian, baby momma (2 to be exact) having, former Cancer patient Johnny. I’m still wondering what was real in the relationship. I definitely felt I was bamboozled. Eventually, I was thrilled I wasn’t his third potential baby momma and to have found closure.

Here are my tweets for the nostalgia inducing Twitter trending topic, #thatswhyyourmyex. Kudos for you, Pepitas, if you can match the tweet with the ex!

  • You dont read. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • You dont support my writing or my creativity. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • I always pictured u with a leopard tanga, u freaky boy! #thatswhyyourmyex
  • U wanted me to cook u mangu everyday. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • U poked my pepa like it was a hole in the wall. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • U poked my pepa like it was a hole in the wall and blamed me for not having orgasms. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • U invited ur parents to ur birthday party. At a club. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • Ur feet smelled like somebody died. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • U would eat food w/o washing ur hands then lick ur fingers and want to put ur fingers inside my squeaky clean pepa™. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • U never made me feel comfortable and so I felt I had to be perfect. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • U never knew me. #thatswhyyourmyex
  • I love myself too much. #thatswhyyourmyex

Phew! Those last ones got a bit deep, Pepitas! As they say, introspection comes with age and experience. I do not regret any of my past relationships; they have led me to where and who I am today. Who is that exactly? A positive, sharp, reflective woman who is in love with her pepa™. As long as my love for myself remains intact, I know I will be just fine.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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