My conversation with Mr. G was more of the same. I vented and expressed my frustration yet again and he attempted to soothe me by telling me he cared, yet again. But something in this familiar routine had slightly changed. My heart didn’t flutter as usual. And my thoughts? My thoughts were actually logical. I didn’t fantasize about our reunion and future, fairytale wedding. For the first time in a long time, I was focused on the present.
He sensed my change immediately and, as I stuck to my guns, he ran out of things to say. In the end, I pretty much gave him an ultimatum. I told him I was tired and unwilling to wait any longer, which had been his request all along. And just like that I was done with Mr. G. I didn’t want to give anymore. I didn’t want to wait anymore. I was simply exhausted.
With nothing more to say, I hung up the phone and ended the intense conversation. I lay in bed and inhaled and exhaled. I stayed there for a few minutes, concentrating on my breathing. Finally, I felt calm enough to close my eyes. Finally, I felt at peace and could embrace the change.