At one point in our lives, we dreamed up a “timeline” for our love lives. We determined the age where we’d meet our future husband and maybe even where we would meet him. We calculated how long we would date and how he would propose. We imagined our fantasy wedding, the honeymoon, and even how long after we would start a family.
Yet now you realize your romantic life plan is not going according to plan at all.
Instead of remapping your love life, it’s time to realize that you can’t control everything in your life, especially love. We don’t have the power to control who we love, why we love them, or when we meet them. Following a timeline just isn’t the healthiest approach. It’s not realistic and only leads to disappointment.
I get it. It’s easy to get obsessed with our life plans. We feel that we know what we want and we’ll make sure to achieve just that. However, ladies, if there is one thing I’ve learned within the last year is that everything you think you want now can drastically change in 365 days.
Being so focused on the future and wanting to make it happen sooner rather than later can scare off men. The idea of “forever” is daunting to many men. If you’re dead set on being married by a certain age, you could be nudging Mr. Right further away. He may not want that serious of a commitment in the beginning of a relationship. You can’t predict when someone else will be ready, even if you are. And you can’t rush them just because you’re on a clock.
Also, planning your wedding with an imaginary man is a distraction from dating in the present moment. It’s almost as bad as a celebrity crush. If you’re already in love with the idea of your future husband and you haven’t met him yet, you’re setting every potential relationship up for failure. How, you ask? Because you’ve set a very high bar from the very beginning. Not to say you shouldn’t have standards, but no one is perfect.
Instead, focus on the now. Throw your love plan out of the window and enjoy the view. Life is far too short to plan for a tomorrow that isn’t promised. Have a girl’s night out at least once a month. Have dinner at a local bar or restaurant you’ve never tried before. Take classes at your local community college. Try a hobby you’ve been interested in learning.
If you take the time to focus on you and enjoy your life, the right person will walk into your life at the most unexpected time.
How do you remain in the present moment?