Connect with us

Love Sujeiry

Fact or Myth: The Mutual Breakup

Ay Love!

Fact or Myth: The Mutual Breakup

A platonic relationship requires one thing – no hanky panky or the desire for said hanky panky. Seeing or wanting to see a “friend” naked changes the dynamic of a relationship. Before you know it you’ve gone from friends to lovers (if it’s mutual) or to estranged acquaintances where awkward silences abound due to unrequited love.

The awkwardness is even more challenging when it’s a pair of exes who are trying to be friends. A friendship between exes is almost impossible unless the breakup is mutual. Question is: is there such a thing as a mutual breakup?

Let’s dissect.

In a relationship, one partner is almost always more invested than the other. It goes in phases.

  • The Courting Phase: The courting phase occurs within the first three months of a relationship. The man is often the chaser, eagerly waiting for the next kiss, the next date and to dig a little deeper into her soul. She, on the other hand, is playing it cool. Like an alley cat, she purrs her way into his heart, slipping out of his grip when she feels she’s in too deep. Her mystery keeps him interested and keeps her heart protected.
  • The Decision Phase: By month three (give or take a month), there is a decision to make. The relationship will either sour or strengthen. If it sours, the man will call less, text less and, sometimes, just disappear. She will feel used, abandoned, relieved or just pissed off.
  • The Opening Up Phase: If the relationship progresses, the balance shifts. She has the title of “girlfriend.” She can relax a little. He can stop wining and dining. The phone calls ‘just because’ become less. He doesn’t put on cologne anymore. And forget about receiving flowers out of the blue. She, of course, notices the shift. Women immediately recognize a change in behavior pattern. Concerned, she questions him, wondering if she should have let her guard down. The balance has shifted. She is much more emotionally invested. He is freaked out. What happened to the confident woman he met? He wonders. Why is she stressing me out?!

The Opening Up Phase can occur at any time in the relationship. The level of emotional investment between couples also shifts throughout the years, especially when the relationship is at a crossroads. This is why a mutual breakup is hardly ever mutual.

Someone always wants more. Someone didn’t see it coming. Someone wants to make the relationship work. Someone always gets hurt.

There is nothing mutual about that.

Continue Reading
Advertisement

Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

Comments

More in Ay Love!

Get Love In Your Inbox

Sign up for the Love Sujeiry newsletter and receive a free chapter of Dating RITE. Plus, stay in the know on all things love, including videos, articles, merch and events.
Email address
Secure and Spam free...

Trending

Facebook

Contributors

Podcast

Instagram

  • I now believe God gives us the kids we need
  • Selfsabotage Its worse than anyone else doing you harm because
  • As you all know I live for empowering women professionally
  • Proud moment Alexandria Ocasio Cortez is now the YOUNGEST woman
  • I didnt get an ivoted sticker but I did exercise
  • This is the face of a toddler that woke up
  • Confession time I have a fucked up relationship with money
  • Evans permanent expression when he sees a camera True story

Latina TV

To Top