Yesterday in New York City, men flocked to their corner delis and bodegas to purchase a necessary Valentines item: condoms! Much like the the sale of roses and Rite Aid brand chocolates, condoms are a staple for el dia del amor. It’s not advertised this way as there is nothing romantic about condoms, but rest assured that Cupids heavy diaper holds the wrapped balloons that fill up with your unwanted children.
To encourage the use of condoms on Valentines Day, a special New Yorker took it upon himself to spread the love. And by love, I mean condoms.
Elliott Timmons, also known as The Lifestyles Condom Cupid, adorned himself with a white wife beater and blue jeans, attached red wings on his back, and flew throughout the New York City subway system, shooting out condoms via his bow and arrow. The Bronx native was hired by Lifestyles to market the company brand and encourage safe sex. In a total of 3 hours, The Lifestyles Condom Cupid passed out 300 condoms to straphangers.
Trying to take away my love guru status, the man-child also posted a special Valentines Day message for single women on his Facebook page. Here are his words of wisdom:
“Why So many American women are single? because,US women want too much from a man.Their ideal man must have loads of $$$,he must be good looking,have sexy car(s),have large bank accounts,spoil the US women with gifts,and money,and US women are too dam shallow,and picky…
Then you have the foreign women who don’t want too much,from a man,just to be loved,treat them with respect,looks aren’t important to them,and they treat US men better than American women do.Which is why when I have my funds under control,I’m going to somewhere like Germany,Japan,or other European countries cuz European Women,and Japanese Women really know how to treat brothas:)”
That’s it! I’m in love!
Regardless of the Lifestyle Condom Cupid’s ignorant words, please protect always. You wouldn’t want to disappoint a man with wings, would you?
No. I didn’t think so.
Hope everyone had an amazing and safe Valentine’s Day!
Follow Sujeiry on Twitter.