A friend of mine asked me about my current relationship. I sighed with pleasure; things are so amazing, I mused. Suddenly, I became one of those females. I rattled on about my wonderful boyfriend and how everything is wonderful and how there aren’t any issues or red flags.
My friend’s eyes glazed over. I’m sure all she heard was, “Wah wah wah wah wah wah.” She then responded abruptly, “Oh, you’re in the Honeymoon Stage.”
It took me aback. Yes, we are in the very beginning of our coupledom, but her tone indicated that she expected it to end. That the Honeymoon Stage is followed by The Crappy Relationship Stage. Is that so? Can the Honeymoon Stage survive, or is it that fragile of a thing that a great relationship can end just like that?
Here is what I’ve learned thus far.
It’s about talking things out. Cause if you don’t talk about what bothers you it festers. That’s when resentment builds. Soon, your relationship consists of arguments and defensiveness. That’s when it turns to crap.
It’s about coping with your shit and not making if their shit. We all have issues. Mine is abandonment. I don’t take rejection well and I often feel terrified that the man that I love is going to leave me because I said this or did that. Or because I am not perfect. But that’s my shit. I can’t put it on my partner. I have to be aware of my issues and cope with them, and vice versa. We cannot allow our past, our failures and our insecurities to ruin and dictate what happens in an awesome relationship.
Realize no one is perfect. This one is hard for me. I have always tried to be a “perfect partner.” That’s because I haven’t always felt that I am enough. I still struggle with this. But no one is perfect! Everyone has cracks and scars, even if they don’t know it. Reminding yourself of this will help you to be yourself.
Be yourself and let things fall where they may. This is where I am currently. I have decided to just be myself. I am going to be the best me that I can be. That’s all I can do. That’s all you can do. We just have to trust that we are enough.