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5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Be Virtual Friends with Your Man

Its Complicated Facebook
Flickr: Ginatrapani.

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5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Be Virtual Friends with Your Man

Should we be friends with a boyfriend or girlfriend on Facebook or Twitter? A response to the New York Magazine article about just that with some relationship advice and tips.

We are living in a world where it’s almost impossible to escape the 5 W’s and an H of our exes. We know where they party, when they’re eating, who they’re hanging out with, how they’re dressing, and what their new profession is. The only W left is:

Why do this to ourselves?

I’m all for being friends with your ex. There’s a reason you dated him in the first place. If you’re lucky you already developed a friendship before you jumped into bed with him (or maybe it was after, I’m not judging). What I can’t get on board with is being virtual friends with an ex in this social media era.

New York Magazine ran an article a couple of weeks ago describing why the social media generation doesn’t really break up when your ex is always present:

“Cutting ties is no longer so easy—nor, I guess, do we really want it to be. We gorge ourselves on information about the lives of our exes. We can’t help ourselves. There’s the ex who “likes” everything you post. The ex who appears in automated birthday reminders. […] The ex who appears in your OkCupid matches. The ex whose new girlfriend sent a friend request. The ex you follow so you know how to win him back.”

Most would suggest deleting the person from your phone, Facebook, G-Chat, Twitter and every other place your virtual lives might cross paths. I understand that it’s not that simple. The temptation is too enticing and the curiosity too much to bear. It’s masochistic in the most deliciously painful way.

[PLUS: BreakUp Text: Use This App to Break Up (Like a Coward)]

My solution to this dilemma is simple: don’t be virtual friends with your boyfriend/ girlfriend/lover to begin with. Here’s are five reasons why you should avoid being “friends” with your significant other.

No more jumping to conclusions.

Image 2 of 5

Someone you don’t know “liked” his picture on Instagram. They respond to his tweet with a, “Sure, we can meet for lunch," and you go through every tweet they have ever sent to each other to figure out why. It’s enough to drive a normal person crazy and a jealous person insane. But it's usually harmless. That someone who liked his picture turns out to be an old friend and that lunch date turns out to be his cousin. You’ll avoid those annoying misunderstandings if you "unfollow." Photo Credit:


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Larissa Vasquez is a writer and blogger based in New York City.


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