Imagine this. You stroll into a bar, exuding confidence with every step, and join a group of men who seem just as pleased with themselves. Seconds later, two men in your company huddle up and behave as if bitten by The Caveman Tick – a disrespectful, judgmental bug that crawls up the butts of men who think their shit dosen’t stink. You watch, still poised though you are well aware of your current circumstance. You quietly observe as Fellow #1 points toward you while hunched over in a corner with Fellow #2. They glance over at you quickly and bump chests in celebration. As The Caveman Tick crawls further up their assholes, they become assholes and proceed to give one another congratulatory dabs because Beavis and Butthead just realized they banged the same chick.
We’ve all experienced a Beavis and Butthead in our lives. More often than not, we’ve also wondered why men feel the need to belittle and disrespect women who lead similar sexual lifestyles. It’s the awful double standard, of course. One that I perpetuate when giving a side-eye to the sloppy chick at the bar, even though I’m an advocate of fairness. But are all men this close-minded? Would they banish you forever from the role of girlfriend and potential wife and label you undateable?
After posing this question on FB and Twitter, men responded with a question of their own: How long ago did the banging of the homie commence? It seems that the timing of it all is relevant to how a man feels about you as a woman and potential partner. Men will indeed forget your sexual escapade if, let’s say, it happened in college. Men will also dismiss it with a shrug of the shoulders if they are only looking for a lay.
But what of those who just sexed the Fellows months before and want to be taken seriously? You’re out of luck, sister. The majority of men responded with a “Hell no!” and “Not a chance!” Dave Robles, a 30-year-old college educated New Yorker, expressed it a bit more eloquently: “It’ll always linger in the back of my mind that my wife slept with my boy.” And that can kill a man’s ego as quickly as gay porn kills a straight man’s erection. Alas, there is some hope at the end of the narrow tunnel. True romantics like BU Law student Franco Torres feels it’s the person that counts, not her past indiscretions. “I’ll probably be in the minority on this,” he begins. “But I don’t think it should matter in those circumstances.”
Ah, Franco. You are the minority indeed. Still, thank you for proving that there is more to love than Beavis and Butthead. God speed ladies.