I’ve been microcheated on and you probably have to. The culprit, aside from the pendejo that decided to step out, is social media. Now that we can engage with thousands of attractive strangers, serial killers and THOTS, relationships are even more vulnerable to infidelity. With a swipe of a finger your significant other can get up close and personal with another vagina. Microcheating is that easy.
So, what exactly is microcheating? Essentially, it’s a pattern of behavior that may seem minute in the grand scheme of relationship infidelity, but affects a relationship as your mate is placing his or her energy, emotions and attention on someone else. See: not you.
Another issue with microcheating is that it’s not easy to catch or pinpoint. Unlike finding ese pendejo con otra (or another man, cause…it happens) catching a microcheater isn’t as clear cut. However, there are behaviors that indicate your partner is microcheating. Your partner might be microcheating if he or she…
…smiles or talks on the phone a lot more than usual.
Something or someone on the other end of that phone is getting your partner giddy. He’s all in his feelings and it’s all over his face.
…is always on social media.
Whether it’s googly eyes or an erection, dude is definitely microcheating if he’s obsessed with checking social media feeds. Especially if he’s engaging with specific profiles. Especially on Instagram. Especially if he uses heart emojis. And yea, eggplants.
…engages with another woman on social media, but never with your social media posts.
A “friend” posts a video of “Lose Control” by Silk. Your partner likes the post and engages said “friend” in invigorating discussion about fate of Silk. You posted that same video the day before, mentioned it to him at home, and…crickets. He never engaged with your post or with any other post, for that matter. Ummmm, fucking microcheater!
…downplays the seriousness of your relationship.
If your bae acts like you’re “just dating” when you’ve been in a relationship for years, his eyes are checking some other ass. And probably on Instagram. That ass!
…doesn’t share private thoughts with you, but does with someone else.
That someone else may be a friend they are attracted to. That’s a no-no. You should be the person your partner comes to to share great news or his or her innermost feelings.
…sends an old photo to their ex.
Exes are exes for a reason, so why is mofo still chatting them up on email, liking their Instagram photos, and sending them photos while “at the gym”? Simply put, if your partner id sending an old photo to an ex, your partner may want to rekindle that flame. See: oooh, look at us when we were together and happy!
To that I say, mira pendejo, why don’t you send sexy pics to your significant other? That way you can rekindle the relationship you have instead of microcheating to your heart’s content.