Moving in together is one of the biggest relationship milestones. And it changes everything. You’re sharing a space together. Your things are now “our” things. You can’t just come and go as you please. It’s the epitome of “me” versus “we,” and “we” must be the priority.
Hopefully, you adjust to life together and find a good balance between romance, partnership and individuality. This way the romance doesn’t burn out. If there is a lack of balance, arguments and emotional distance ensue. Soon, your lover feels more like your roommate.
How can you tell if your no longer in love or even in lust? Here are four signs that point to this detrimental relationship shift.
You feel alone even when he’s home.
You are sitting next to each other but there is tension. You don’t even eat dinner together or ‘Netflix and Chill’! You hardly talk and sit at opposite ends of the couch most of the time. These are all signs that your lover is now just your roommate.
He is no longer affectionate.
Unless you don’t like or need sweet caresses, a lack of affection is a red flag in any relationship. That’s especially the case if you live with someone and you don’t even kiss each other good morning. Couples set routines for affection, like saying “I love you” before bedtime or texting sweet messages throughout the day. If you have both stopped doing all of these things and then some (especially saying “I love you”) this is the beginning of the end.
You sleep in separate beds or rooms.
Sleeping together builds intimacy. That’s when pillow talk occurs and you can express your feelings. If he sleeps in the guest room, chances are your relationship is strained. Sure, people get mad and sleep in different rooms, but this shouldn’t be the norm. Neither of you should prefer to fall asleep on the living room couch.
You don’t have sex.
If you’re not having sex with your man and you have no interest in sex with him (or vice versa,) your relationship is on it’s last leg. Sex and intimacy are what separates a romantic relationship from a friendship. He’s pretty much there to help you pay the rent or mortgage.
If any of these signs ring true, get help. Talk to a therapist or a counselor at church. Just do something. If you don’t, “we” will become “me” for good.