It is 2012 and, contrary to popular belief and the movie 2012, we are still kicking and breathing. Winter in NYC was unseasonably warm but we are still alive! However, though much has changed in NYC this year (the Knicks are winning; the 7 train will finally be available on weekends; Occupy Wall Street didn’t die), some of us wish certain relationship rituals would remain the same.
One relationship tradition that has strayed from its roots is the call. Though in 2012 it’s more like the text. Women are no longer intimidated to make the first move. Women even approach men at a bar, on the train station platform, pretty much everywhere, and ask for their phone number. Women in those situations hold the power, and power feels amazing.
But does that power take away from the work men should do?
When men initiate a call or text, it shows us he is interested. As women, we often note how often he calls, texts and the number of times he sets plans. Like computers, we gather information on the number of times he calls a day, what time of the day or day of the week he usually makes contact, and any changes in his ritualistic behavior. If he initiates, we feel special and desired. This is the way we gauge a man’s genuine interest during the initial stage of courtship. If we, as women, make the first move, it shows we are definitely interested, which isn’t terrible. But it also puts us in an interesting (and new) position. This time, we are the ones waiting for our phones to ring. It’s been an hour since you text him and you are the one who is staring at your phone every two minutes, eagerly (and hopefully) anticipating a reply! This can be frustrating. What if he doesn’t return your call? Do you call again? What if he doesn’t return your text? Do you assume his phone had a glitch and try again?
What if?! What if?! What if?!
This is when being the initiator affects us differently than men. Our pride says, “Hell no!” Just because it’s 2012 doesn’t mean we need to chase the object of our desires. But we have the power. We wanted the control. We want to tell him off or make excuses for him and try again!
The smart thing to do is to put down the phone and step away. Men are no different than women. If we are interested, we will call back, and not a week later. If we are not, we ignore the first, second and third call and/or text message. Same rules apply for men. If he does return your call and/or text, it is suffice to say that he is interested. Hopefully, he won’t take the back seat for long, step up to the plate and ask you out on a date. If he doesn’t, maybe he isn’t as interested as he should be.
It may be 2012 and unseasonably warm but we are still fabulous women.