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That Slut-Shaming Son of God!

Bible Psalm 63
Flickr: Savioseb.

Ay Love!

That Slut-Shaming Son of God!

He kissed me and said, “God is watching, bad things are going to happen.”

Rick. I dated him when I was in high school and he was very religious. An extreme Christian, he was astonished that I am Latina and am not baptized nor had I gone to church in years. Rick, on the other hand, went to church every Sunday – and sometimes during the weekday. He wanted me to read the bible with him. Could be interesting, I thought. So I agreed.

A few weeks passed and we had yet to sit down to read about Kane and Abel and Mary and Joseph. Rick expressed that he was upset with me as he assumed I’d take initiative and read the bible. Like by myself. “I thought we were going to read it together,” I said. Honestly, I wasn’t interested in reading it alone.

PLUS: A Man’s Take on Women’s Objectification

Rick also had other…hangups. He said he couldn’t kiss me because kissing is “for your wedding day.” I didn’t mind, I didn’t need to kiss him. I just liked having a boyfriend. Obviously, I was very young.

But, one night after dinner, he shocked me and – kissed me! It was both of our first kiss. I was excited. Rick, however, said this:

“God is watching, bad things are going to happen.”

I thought he was being ridiculous. But, when his car broke down the next day, he said God made it happen.“This is your fault. You gave in to me too easily,” Rick blamed. It was God’s vengeance because we kissed. So he broke up with me. But not before calling me a slut.

I was heart broken and actually felt like I did something wrong. Eventually, he did apologize and I was ecstatic. We got back together and continued to (gasp) kiss. Everything was back to “normal.” He still pressed me about church and asked me to attend with him, or just in general. “What is your life about? Is it just walking your dog and hanging out with your friends?” he asked one day. I just brushed it off. Who was he to tell me what to believe in?

Then, one night he got a little curious (ahum, horny).

“Don’t touch me there,” I said, stopping him. Rick was much bigger than me and kept trying to stick his hand under my skirt and between my legs. I couldn’t fight him off and he touched my vagina. He immediately felt bad. Not because he didn’t respect my feelings but, you know, ‘cause God was watching. I was furious.

MORE: I’ve Slept with Multiple Men and I Lied About It to a Guy

“You wore a skirt on purpose, you know, easy access. Maybe I wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t give in easy, slut,” he fired back.

I couldn’t believe he was slut-shaming me again. I also couldn’t believe he had the nerve to break up with me because I “gave in too easily.”

He violated me. Mentally and physically. I’m pretty sure God doesn’t approve of that one bit.

Christina Cardona is a hopeless romantic and a total Queens girl. Over the years she has realized that mostly all experience is good experience, and there is a lesson in everything. She plans to share her dating faux pas and help women of all ages understand that sometimes life just happens - and that's ok! When she is not persuading others that knows girls can do anything boys can do, you can find her in a yoga class or walking neighborhood dogs.

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