Whether you’re 65 or a 25-year-old CEO and independent woman, you’ve been heart broken. Love really doesn’t discriminate and neither do the men who wine and dine us – and dump us months or sometimes years later. Often times the guy just disappears.
He stops calling. He doesn’t reply to your text messages or voicemails. It’s just over.
Other times he gives you a lame excuse like, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
And you want to scream. You want to curse him out in English and Spanish and tell him off. You also want closure; it’s difficult to move on without it. So I’ll help you get started. Here are some questions to ask the guy who broke your heart.
Why, man, why?!
Knowing the real reason behind the breakup will help you get the closure you seek. It may not, however, help you heal. Your heart won’t hurt any less if his reasons for ending the relationship are logical. Still, asking why he decided to move on may help you move on as well.
What do I need to work on?
Let’s face it: it takes two to tango. Even if your ex messed up you aren’t perfect. Take this opportunity to ask him questions that will help you become a better version of yourself. There may be something that you do in relationships that affects the outcome time and again. So ask him what you need to work on. You may just realize that you had a part in the end as well.
What are my strengths?
A breakup is a great time to learn about the things that you need to work on personally. But after hearing some not so nice things, you need a self-confidence boost! Ask him why you’re so awesome; it’ll help. Unless he’s a troll that lives under a bridge, he will soften and be kind – and give you great feedback. His responses will hopefully reveal even more reasons why you deserve to be loved by someone who is ready for all that you offer.
Do you want to be friends?
I don’t think it’s smart to be friends with an ex. It can get complicated, especially if you’re still not over him. But many of you may want to maintain a friendship with your ex guy. To each their own, I say! If you do want to be friends with your ex, ask him how he feels about it. You may have been friends first and he may not want to lose the friendship. Depending on why he ended the relationship, you may need to let some time pass before the “let’s be friends” talk. When you do chat, discuss boundaries. You may just want to be acquaintances. He may just call you whenever he needs to talk — or whenever he’s horny.
Can we have breakup sex?
Speaking of sex, many of you may want to have one last romp with your ex. Who knows when’s the next time I’ll get some? you think. In fact, you may want him to be your booty buddy. If so, ask him if he’s open to the idea. Again, make sure that you set clear boundaries. What does this booty buddy relationship really look like? If he is against a sexual relationship post-breakup, he may already be involved with someone else. Or he may be worried that you’ll want to get back together. It happens!
What’s your best memory of our relationship?
It’s important to end a love affair on a high note, especially if the breakup was unexpected, or you just aren’t ready to move on. Why ask him about the best memory? It’s not about torturing yourself. On the contrary, his loving memory may help you realize that it wasn’t all bad, that he did care about you once and probably still does. One day you will think of that same memory, reflect on this very relationship and smile.