I’m scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed and there he is – a man that stood me up just a year prior when I lived in Los Angeles. Correction: he cancelled on me two hours before our date. He had some decorum. But he never called back to “reschedule” because he had yet to “find a babysitter for his daughter.” The daughter was real, the rest was a bullshit excuse.
So why was Mr. Bullshit on my newsfeed? Facebook suggested him as a person I may know. We have no mutual friends. We now live in different states. We aren’t connected professionally. We went on one blind date courtesy of Match.com, and I never logged on to my dating profile on Match with Facebook.
What gives creepy Facebook? Why are you recommending that I “friend” a guy who treated me like I had a hairy wart growing out of my chin? Why is he on my “people you may know” list? I don’t know him! Are you trying to ruin my self-esteem? Are you in on some ploy to encourage Facebook stalking? Cause that’s what I would have done years ago. Ok, not that long ago, maybe in 2013. I would have dissected his profile so hard I would have made up clues that indicated why he stopped calling.
WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?!
Excuse my Kanye caps.
I can only assume that Facebook is evil. Correction: Mark Zuckerberg is evil. I imagine that he imagined Facebook to be a social media phenomenon, yes, but also a way to stalk exes and old flings.
Mr. Bullshit doesn’t affect me like that but at the time, when I felt lonely in La La Land and terrified of being single in La La Land, he did matter. To my ego. So instead of clicking on his smug face (I have a wonderful boyfriend after all) I decided to write this post and yell at Facebook:
Get out of my life! Leave my past in the past! You disgust me! You’re no better than the Cloud.
Ah, much better.