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How I Overcame Philemaphobia (Fear of Kissing)

Pink Kiss and Lips
Flickr: Waltstoneburner.

Ay Love!

How I Overcame Philemaphobia (Fear of Kissing)

I had so much drool in my mouth I thought I’d contract mono.

In the 8th grade, I was a shy virgin with absolutely no experience or desire to be sexually active. That is until I started hanging out with the “cool” kids. After spending time with a few of the “populars,” I quickly discovered I was the only one who couldn’t properly identify the head or tail of a penis. My lack of experience was deemed unacceptable to my friends so they devoted all our free time to prepare me for some penis.

I began getting tutorials like, “How to Give a Blow Job Using a Popsicle,” or “Get the Brazilian Look Using a Razor.” After my extensive training I hit the dating atmosphere and snagged a freshman within weeks.

Two weeks of nonstop flirtatious texting and phone calls, and it was time for our first date, which consisted of a plate of pizza rolls and a make-out session in my garage. Not the best location but it was suitable for my mission – make it to first base.

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The make out session went smooth for about 10 minutes. Then, his soft pecks turned to full-blown slobber. I had so much drool in my mouth I thought I would contract mono by the end of our date. In the nicest possible way, I aborted the mission and settled for decent conversation.

Traumatized, I vowed to avoid all liquids (cum, saliva, sweat) associated with sex from gracing my lips. I have used a variety of sneaky, not-so-obvious tactics to fend off an overly-eager guy from ejaculating on or near my face, or evade his lips from locking mine. These shenanigans continued until a little over a year ago when I was introduced to my porn-loving-lip-sucking-sex-God of a boyfriend. His openness and dominance during sex has inspired me to try new things. From toys, to lube, to handcuffs, he is responsible for the unveiling of my inner Aphrodite. He even introduced me to my pornstar crush, Skin Diamond, who has sparked my interest in hardcore, wet and wild sex.

I began living vivaciously through her. I adored how she seductively embraced every drop of cum and saliva slung her way without hesitation. When I began to practice this form of fearlessness, my fear of kissing diminished and my squeamishness turned into a love for saliva-involved-cum-guzzling sex.

MORE: Ask Sujeiry: Should I Fake an Orgasm?

My boyfriend was very much pleased when I wildly French kissed him after a great round of 69. It was moments like this I knew I overcame my fear of kissing, saliva and other bodily fluids. When I stopped over-thinking the germs and grossness involved in sex and accepting the reality of sexual encounters, all my wildest fantasies became reality.

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Ciara Ward

Ciara is a Virginia-born, New York made journalist advocating for a woman’s right to live and love whomever, wherever and however she likes. When she is not relishing in a good book or being a self-proclaimed yogi and wine connoisseur, she enjoys destroying slut-shaming ideologies and empowering women. She is currently pursuing a degree in Journalism with a minor in Gender & Sexuality Studies while simultaneously exploring her sexual being and sharing her experiences, journey and advice with fellow millennial women.


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