Some women talk a big game. They get angry with their significant other, call their friends and family to blow off steam, and yell and curse a ton in the process.
“How dare he say that?” “Does he know who I am?””Who does he think he is?””Oh, I’ll show him…”
And so on and so forth. But then we don’t back it up. When the love of your life walks through the door, you melt or express yourself in a softer tone. You apologize for hurting his feelings even when you didn’t intent to cause him any pain at all. Because that’s what women do. We apologize more times than men even when there is no wrongdoing on our part. Because we want to nurture, please and appease others and alleviate conflict.
Men, on the other hand, apologize less because they often don’t feel they did anything wrong. So women take the heat to cease arguing. We talk a big game but wither like a rose that’s been out in the sun too long.
I don’t like being this kind of woman. I don’t like feeling like I have to put my feelings second in order to move forward. And I wonder how we find a balance between bitching with our girls and constantly apologizing to our man.
Maybe we should stand our ground. Even when it is uncomfortable, when we feel hurt yet push ourselves to be “the bigger person,” we shouldn’t always fold. We should sit in that discomfort, that anger and, yes, express it even if it will rattle feathers and disrupt the harmony in the relationship. I’m not recommending you to bitch out your partner whenever you feel hurt. Don’t go balls to the wall and curse him out. There is a way to communicate your anger while still being respectful. It’s about tone. And your tone must be firm.
I don’t want to talk a big game anymore. I want to express how I feel no matter what someone else says or does or feels about my feelings. Fortunately, I do not fear speaking up anymore. I once did for fear of being broken up with, left, abandoned. That fear has dissipated now that I know this: whatever happens in my life and relationship, I will be okay. I always bounce back.
So here’s to no more “I’m sorry’s” without reason and to expressing our feelings – even if we have to rock the boat from time to time.